before the fireworks

We are (planning) on going to Southbank tonight, to watch the fireworks with Sam's family. A lovely way to see off this spectacular, evolving and tiring year. And to welcome in the possibilities of new beginnings and hopes and wishes and dreams. The rainy weather might wash out the excitement of standing watching smoke, gunpowder, colour erupt up into the atmosphere.

So, on the eve of the new year I have been wanting to write a little round up, a wrapping up of this year. And possibly a few little hopes for the coming one.

It has been one of my most intense years - emotional, tiring, exhilarating, steepest learning curve, loving, caring, growing, growing, growing. I have had the privilege, the pleasure, the luck to be with, watch, listen, feel my babies grow and learn - and to teach me so much more than ever I could teach them. And, on occasions I think I have stopped to take notice and actually learn what they are trying to show me.

Also, I feel that so many of the other relationships in my life have expanded and been so nourishing this year. Sam and I continue to go from strength to strength. Being parents together is one of the most wonderful things that two people can experience. I know that I am blessed to be sharing this with someone so intensely amazing, thoughtful, caring, loving as Sam is (always has been, so I know he always will be). This has probably been near to one of our hardest (definitely most tiring) years, and we have climbed through it together - as a team.

My two sisters have been wonderful companions and helpers these past few years. This year, I feel, we have all developed a truer depth together. A deeper love, understanding, appreciation. And my Dad, I don't talk about him very much in this blog. Well, he probably is one of the most amazing men I will ever know. He is so deeply embedded into who I am, how I am, how I feel, think, act :: want to act, feel, think, know, do.... He is an inspiration for me, a motivation for me. My brother, sadly, I haven't had the same chance to grow and connect with further. I really wish he had more time, yet he works so much, driving for work or to collect/drop off his son for his fortnightly visits. I too, don't take enough time to be with my brother at his house, on his time. When we are together it is simple and easy and fun and wonderful.

One other person who I feel I have grown more with, understood more, loved more, enjoyed more :: ME. This, out of most years, I think has been a year of intense growth and learning and stopping and just being. And loving that just being, the letting go of so many things. Stopping having so many expectations of myself or those around me.

And, onto a few things that I have been mulling over. Hopes for our new year, our family, for myself. I really don't like new year's resolutions, basically because I very rarely end up keeping them. Yet, still I form ideas and try and simplify these to something that I could possibly keep to. So, this year no :: exercise more, eat less chocolate, be tidier...blah blah blah.

This year :: let myself go more, stop more, enjoy more, just be. This year, I would love to sew more, learn to knit, possibly crochet. Take more time for myself in these productive, yet simple ways. Also, long have I been thinking about the possibilities of starting some form of my own business. I aim to really sit and think and plan and formulate and then, actually put into practice, something for me. Mainly so I don't have to go back to work outside the home. So I can work from home and be with my children, while they grow and I grow.

Also, the thing of moving house is getting so intense in my whole soul. I / we need to have a bit more space for being and thinking and doing and growing. We currently live in a teeny two bedroom house, with a scrappy outdoor area. Yes, the city has lots of great parks - but we would love a garden for some homegrown veges, fruits, fun.

So, a few simple things / wishes for the coming year. I see that these are achievable, in as much as I really actually want to do :: be these. Hmmmm, a cleaner house would be lovely too!

snippitysnippitysnip #2

Be warned - many blatant cute photos follow!

Her hair was getting simply too long + I was sick of having to keep looking for little clips, lost all over the house, in the car, slipping out of her hair while out and about. She can see a little better now. Hmmmm, I didn't think that I would be cutting her hair at only 10 months old, but she had so much of it, and it just keeps growing and growing.

Ari was past his third birthday before we finally cut his hair, but things seem to be so much more accelerated with a second baby. Is that because I am more experienced, or more blase, or - hopefully not - maybe because I have gone through some of that 'baby loss/growing up thing' already with Ari, and it's not quite as intense with Mishi. Is that it? No, not really, no.... hope not!

We'd been wanting to cut it for a little bit, but I was a bit scared that we'd do it wrong. A wriggling baby and sharp scissors are not really a combination I wanted to test out! A friend did it one night - we were talking about it, and she got out the scissors and snip snip done! (She's Swiss, so gets things done without the silly procrastination. They renovated their house in less than a month; ripping out walls, painting, new kitchen, etc... I hate those sorts of people!!!). Anyway, she did a perfect job - not too short across the fringe, with a cute little bob (which we had to fix up over a few days of trying to keep Mishi still).

And if you start thinking that there'll be a third installment to these snippity posts :: I have not had my hair cut ever ever ever. It didn't get as long as it is by cutting it. Though, don't think it hasn't crossed my mind a few times - scissors in hand, there have been a few times when I almost almost almost just snipped it all off! If I was going to do it though, I think I'd have to have a very stylish and eye-catching cut as I'm quite used to the thing of having long (eye-catching) hair. Keep a look out, but don't hold your breath.

gifted

Well, I managed to get all the presents finished on time! A few had their final touches added on Christmas morning :: but they were all done and wrapped, with enough time to get out the door for family lunch. Ultimately, I'm quite proud of the presents we gave this year. I'm pleased that I managed to stick to my (mostly) handmade for all the family. We did get Lego for Ari - his first 'big boy' Lego, rather than the Duplo we have and love playing with. And boxer shorts for Sam were purchased, rather than made.

Crayon Rolls for the kids :: I really like the fabric combinations for these :: the kids really liked the People Pops they found inside!

Placemats for Sam's parents :: and his brother + girlfriend

and a painting each from Ari, plus some chocolates ::

A last minute gift for my Grandma. I can't belive that I forgot to make anything for her, considering she was spending the day with us - something that doesn't usually happen. I made her a little bag / pouch thing, for her to put her magnifying glass into. She has a degenerative eye cancer, so only has periferal vision, which means she can't read menus or see people so clearly. She carries her magnifying glass with her everywhere, yet seems to always be searching for it in her bag. I used Alexander Henry birdseed in bright yellow with a red trim and pale green inside, hopefully it'll be easy to spot in her handbag.

I didn't get the apron made for Ari that I had planned. My Grandma bought a play kitchen for the kids to share. (She gave the money, so I got to choose what I wanted). I'm hoping to get a little apron made for Ari over the next week or so.

Also, no new Christmas outfits were completed. Seeing as how I never get to go clothes shopping, and have no clothes (that fit me since having babies!), I have been hoping and hoping to make some new things for myself. And I would have loved to make a new Christmas outfit for Mishi (at least), but that too wasn't achieved.

I have to stop making myself feel so bad about the lack of time, energy, motivation, space issue I have with sewing. Possibly, though, I should stop buying fabric until I start using what I have!

some sewing.....finally

It seems lately I've been showing quite a bit of my new fabric, and very little of the end results. It's happening too slowly around here, but still happening non-the-less. Last week I asked Sam's mum to take the kids for a few hours, and she obliged. Five glorious, quiet, content, productive hours! Of course, when I finally get alone time all I really want to do is sleep, or lie around listening to music or reading. And, some sewing. I sort-of almost finished the presents for all the kids for Christmas. The quilt idea totally went out the window. Not only due to time constraints but also cost of making six quilts with quality fabric and filling.

Instead I made some crayon rolls. I really quite love these. They were simple enough to sew, and small enough to be able to experiment with a few unusual fabric combinations. Also, I feel that I would be able to 'jazz them up' quite easily with a few extra adornments - for future present making. Thank you for this lovely and easy tutorial. Inspiration :: cloth.paper.string :: Myriad :: three sisters :: + many more, I can't quite find now.

More fabric arrived this week. I'm happy to say that I have cut into it already :: at 3am to be precise. This was an early morning sewing, rather than late night. (I actually went to bed at 10pm, and then woke up at 3am - ready to work. Rather than staying up late, late, late and not having any energy the next day).

So, Christmas presents are happening. I can see an easy end. Really, I actually don't have that much to do :: yet, everytime I look at the calendar I remember that I don't have much time either! We are going to my Dad's on 22nd, so things need to be finished before then. (Ummmmmm.... TWO full days only!!). My mind is becoming clearer on what I need to do, and I'm feeling more optimistic. Possibly because I have just been sewing with these glorious, new fabrics and they have sparked my imagination.

Some of the Amy Butler and Kaffe Fassett have been sewn already into placemats for Sam's parents' gift. And the possibilities of the others... arhhhhh. Most of the new fabrics are for a quilt for Ari. I haven't yet finished Mishi's, but it's very close. All I have to do is the binding. I have read and read and read the instructions in Bend-the-Rules and a few library books, yet somehow my brain can't work it out. More thinking involved for me to finish that. Any tips and help?

I have long loved Kaffe Fassett. My Mum has/had (as in they no longer belong to my Mum because she doesn't belong to this land anymore :: but they are still in the bookshelves at my parent's house) many of his books. She herself was a pretty excellent knitter and crocheter. I wish I had taken more notice and remembered now how to cast on and knit one, purl two; in through the window, running round the back, out through the back door, and off jumps Jack! And each time I see Amy Butler's newest range, I fall in love all over again.

swapping traditions

Well my Holiday Traditions Swap has arrived safe and well, with it's recipient Tonya. I had to wait until she received it for me to 'show off'. At first I was a bit scared that I wouldn't send off a good enough parcel, and then I wondered if I'd actually get it made in time to post off to USA, for it to arrive in time for Christmas. But :: it all seemed to work out, it got there in time, and more importantly I actually like it and am quite happy with it!

I sent some handmade (machine stitched - I hand stitched the ones for our tree, and they are quite wonky, plus took me ages!) stuffed felt stars, with ribbon to hang on the tree. They are quite bright colours - lovely for after Christmas possibly in a child's bedroom.

And some Steiner-inspired dolls made from fabric scraps. This is something that we used to have when we were young. I remember making beautiful white ones with my Mum and sister, and hanging them on our little tree. Or stringing them along our roof. These are really easy to make, and something you can do with children. They can be as simple or elaborate as you like. If anyone wants a basic tutorial, let me know :: I'd love to write one for you.

The recipe that I included was for some yummy biscuits that Sam's Mum often makes. They are an Italian almond biscuit - Amaretti. I made a recipe card for it - did a little styled photo-shoot, which was really fun. (Sam did the logistics of actually 'making' the recipe card, as he's the designer with the computer programs and know-how and the amazing skills and visual eye!). Of course, the biscuits weren't perfect when we baked them the day of the 'photo-shoot', but they still looked lovely and tasted delicious. I've been wanting to make some recipe cards for a while now, so this is the start - I plan on making more in the New Year.

And then I wrote a whole bit blurb about our family traditions :: past ones and new ones I want to implement. I'll tell you a bit more about it after Christmas.

What a received from Tonya was lovely and tasty. She sent me some of her Grandma's chocolate and sultana cookies - they arrived very crumbled, but so tasty. Also a fun CD of her favourite Christmas songs - we have only listened to it once, as most music has to compete with Playschool's 'The Wobbly Walk'. The Mickey Mouse decoration looks right at home on our tree, with all our red angels and stars. She also sent us a beautiful looking (I've seen photos) wreath, but customs snatched it away due to the pine cones. They have cut these off, and are now posting the wreath to us. I have optimistically high hopes of it arriving in time for Christmas!

Pink Amaretti

3 egg whites

200g / 1 cup / 7oz castor sugar

250g / 2 1/2 cups / 8oz almond meal

4 Tablespoons icing sugar

A few drops pink colouring (you can leave this out for white amaretti, or add it only half/half. This isn't in the recipe, just something that Ari + I wanted to add when we were making these).

Pre-heat oven to 160C / 325F / Gas 3

Beat egg whites in a mixer until soft peaks form. Gradually add castor sugar, until thick and glossy. Fold almond meal in, by hand and 2 tablespoons of icing sugar. Add a few drops of foor colouring, until you like the intensity. Leave half the mixture white.

Using two tablespoons, form shapes like quinelles - small round shapes, almost with a swirl on top. Place on baking trays lined with non-stick baking paper. Dust with remaining icing sugar and bake for 15 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool on try, then remove from paper and store in an airtight container. Yummo!

our little tree

This is our first Christmas tree we've had - in this house or as a family. We decided to have a real, living tree for a few reasons. It was something we did in my family, when we were children. I remember seeing it get bigger each year :: a wonderful way to notice the changing of the cycles and the growing of our lives/selves. Also, we wanted something that could be special to care for, look after, tend to. Every day it is Ari's special job to remember to water the tree. We have to clear up the dropped needles and seedpods. And then, to have this wonderful real tree in our house feels immensely special for me. Growing up in the bush we didn't have trees inside our house so much (except bonsai trees), seeing as how we lived in a very outside-in house. Nature always came in, if we wanted it to or not. And now, while we have flowers and seedpods and sticks and things, we don't often have real trees growing in our house. Sometimes we may have an orchid plant - which in a way is like a growing flower arrangement.

We choose a Daintree pine (Gymnostoma australianum). It's so pretty, with such lovely shaped seedpods (almost like many-armed star-shaped atoms) and furry little 'flowers'. The tree is almost classic Christmas tree shape. It will grow healthily and happily in a pot.

Our decorations are simple, and all handmade. Steiner-style angels, and stitched felt stars. It is my wish / aim to make something new each year to add to the tree, or collect things that are special to us. Rather than just buying a heap of plastic decorations and throwing them at the tree. It's quite an understated look. Actually, I really like it. I think this year Ari was maybe a bit too young to assist so much, or he didn't want to, so mainly Sam and I did it. We tried some lights, but they didn't really match. We do have one 'not-handmade' decoration :: this lovely little one that came from my holiday traditions swap from Tonya. (She also made us a beautiful looking wreath, which we are waiting to receive from Australian Quarantine).