the remains of the day

today is ari's birthday.
5.
big boy. my baby boy.
we were talking about the day he was born. how we almost didn't make it to the hospital (which was only 3 minutes down the road from our house), because i didn't recognise the 'pushing' sensation. we did get there, with 45minutes to spare, though fully dilated. just enough time for sam to park the car and get back to the birthing room!
for parents, you know that feeling as if you've known your children for your whole life, they are so ingrained your every day and essence. you can barely remember time before them. yet you can also not quite believe that they are now old enough to..... make jokes, back chat, get themselves dressed, feed themselves... any number of every day activities.
we had a party yesterday.
so lovely. family and friends in the backyard. a Japanese theme dress-up party - so fun to see everyone pull out their kimonos. and the 'party activity' was sushi rolling - seemed most kids quite enjoyed it, and also meant i wasn't in the kitchen for hours on end rolling sushi (was in the kitchen for hours on end doing other stuff!).
and today, a quiet day. with brother + nephew and my sister + nephew.
and this afternoon. the end of a long weekend. two sleeping kids (sam at work). a quiet house. with the breeze outside bringing snippets of kids playing and birds calling and cars driving.
and me tired too. but many things heavy in my mind, things needing to be done. work to be ready for next weekend.
yet one small quiet moment to stop and observe and remember.