it's that time of my life again.
i am trying to not feel glum. or sad. or depressed about it. or angry. annoyed. or simply quiet and down. or unsure.
i'm trying to think other things about it.
i'm trying to know the good things about my mama. about who she was. what she was. how she was.
i'm trying to be her. be like her. know her. think like her.
be her.
a big butterfly just flittered in the window. around my head. slowly and deliberately. then out again.
that's what life is. isn't it. a slow float like a butterfly on the wings of the wind. sometimes we flap and propel ourselves. sometimes we let the breeze take us. sometimes it's deliberate. mostly it just happens.
tell me a sweet story about your own mama. oh, i'd love to hear that. please share.
My mum was an only child of older, strict, parents and she had a rather lonely childhood. When I realised that Hazel was going to be an only child too, that was one of the things I kept thinking about as a negative. Mum figured this out somehow and she told me that I was nothing like her mother and that Hazel's childhood would be nothing like hers. It was so sweet and insightful and it made me cry a bit - still does! I hope I can be half the mum she is for me.
ReplyDeletei didn't know how to bring it up when we spoke today. grief, any grief at the moment makes me crumble. but i am remembering michele for what she was in my life. my second mama. my grounding force. my teacher. we miss her. and i smile when tal tells me his memories of her.
ReplyDeletei am with you in spirit on the 27th my darling elle. happy memories, sadness, i love you xxx
oops, i just commented on the other post.
ReplyDeletehugest love to you gorgeous girl.
my mum just sent me some edits on a story i wrote.
she apologised at the end and told me that when she edits she is a writer first and mother second.
she was pretty harsh, but fair.
that comment made me laugh but it also made me trust her when she said it was a good piece.
i ache for your loss. xx