Saturday, 10 May 2008

crashing waves and other dreams

Last night I dreamt that I was being washed over by a big crashing wave. We had all been sitting quietly, happily playing on the sand - looking at shells and digging and exploring in our own thoughts. And then suddenly a massive wave - over our heads. I couldn't keep afloat easily, I was holding both kids in my arms and struggling. People were around me; family members - Sam, Dad, other people; all trying to keep their heads above the water and away from the rocks. For some strange reason (okay, it as a dream - lots of strange things happen!); there were knives flashing through the water, and that was something else we had to be weary of.
When I got up this morning, with the dream still in my mind, I knew that I was about how I'm feeling with things :: life :: at the moment. The knives I'm not so sure about, little bit scared to delve into what they could mean. But the water over my head - trying to stay afloat, well that's pretty obvious.
There are lots of things I feel so waterlogged about, that I'm constantly playing chase with, trying to achieve and getting done. So many things I have promised - to myself or other people - that I'm very behind in. I think the most important person I feel I'm letting down is my little Ari.
I promised him a bunny a long time ago, and have run into a few issues with that. Then we talked about a turtle - a red one; as red is his favourite and turtles are his favourite. I keep promising that tomorrow it will be ready. Yet, somehow, I don't quit know where to start.
And the 100th Post prizes are still "in the works". Sorry everyone, but they will happen. I know it for sure, just not sure when. And I still haven't finished or posted these two swaps that are now more than a month overdue - I feel really bad about that.
And then, for myself. All those sewing things I keep planning and dreaming (and talking) about are happening much too slowly. The market I am hoping to have a stall at is next weekend and I don't have very much stock at all for it.
BUT :: in the past two weeks we have had some lovely days. And I have made a few things, for some special people. And my mind is still ticking over, and planning and dreaming................

A gift for a special friend's birthday.

Hand embroidered, zippered purse and

a hand stitched ribbon, button and yoyo bookmark. With some lovely soap.

With beads from the collection my Mum gave me years and years ago. That I have been too scared or tentative to delve into until now - slowly slowly.
Bread rolls for my family's dinner. LSA (linseed, sunflower and almond meal) makes a lovely addition to the plain organic white flour. Kneaded and rolled with love.


A new dress for my Mishi. Based on a dress that my Mum made for Sylvia when she was a little girl (25 years ago); and that I discovered when visiting my Dad a few months ago. I made another that was a little too big, but will be wonderful in Summer time! Alexander Henry Yellow Birdseed, with a green gosgrain ribbon - though it still needs a button at the back.

And beautiful sunlight and views and smiles and laughs and happiness at home and out and about with our loved ones.

And lots of treasures from Mother Earth.

7 comments:

  1. Oh, I know that feeling too well, Ellie. I'm just now feeling like I'm coming out from under water. It'll be just fine.

    I love that little dress you made - so so cute.

    Enjoy your remaining sunshine as fall becomes winter. Maybe once it's colder outside, you'll feel more like getting those inside things done.

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  2. Oh, man, don't I know the feeling... I can live with not keeping up at work, I can live with disappointing my mother, friends or husband if I have to - but there's no way of putting up with the feeling of letting your kids down. And yet it happens again and again. Often of too high ambitions "yes, darling, I'll finish the skirt by Saturday.."
    So glad you stopped by - have a wonderful weekend, what's left of it!

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  3. I love the pictures. And despite the list of things not getting done, you appear to be living a beautiful, happy life with your family. In touch with nature too, I like that.

    The fabric of Mishi's dress is wonderful. I want to go buy some now and I don't even really sew... but perhaps this summer I can!

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  4. I do the same thing when I'm overwhelmed, except in my dreams I run. Running to keep up with everything except my legs feel really heavy and I can never get where I need to go. And I always wake up tired. Take your dreams as a sign to step back and put a few things on hold. Focus on you and your family and what makes you happy on this Mothers Day (or at least it's still mothers day here in the states, extend yours a bit!) Don't worry about the rest, it will take care of itself eventually.

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  5. It happens here too, Ellie and I do not like it much at all. That is the reason I can not push myself into craft business yet. Until Oliver goes to school, I have to keep telling myself to slow down....

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  6. Beautiful little bird dress!

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  7. i like your post, i use to dream water or waves, like your dream, i sometimes feel like you, but i have to say that everything goes fine , at the end, and the life is wonderful also because of these "grey" moments!!! i love your pocket....

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Thank you for your words and thoughts. I do so appreciate each and every visitor to my blog. While I try hard to reply to your comment, it often doesn't quite happen..... know that I'm sending you a thoughtful thanks xxx

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