looking for dreams

Today we went for a drive down the coast, to the Gold Coast Hinterland. Looking at houses, land, possibilities of a new home for our family. I'm not sure we found our new home, but we had a lovely day. And some dreaming, and new questions. And, well a very lovely day with beautiful views.

Ari declared that it was a good day for going to the park - we agreed with him. The sweet little park we stopped at, in the middle of 'now where', where we had our picnic and played and played. And Mishi learnt after only a few tries how to climb the big steps so she could go down the slippery slide - backwards, on her tummy!

The park was next to a little creek. We were sure that fairies lived there; creek fairies, and sunlight fairies, and maybe grass fairies.

Peeking down driveways (the real estate didn't want to set up any viewings as we hadn't sold our house yet), and looking at "For Sale" signs, and rewriting real estate advertising - they are good at that aren't they!

We came home, all tired from the long drive. The kids watched a bit of afternoon tv, and Sam checked his car forum (on the internet). I went into the back yard with a coffee, to sit in the late afternoon (and getting quite cold) sun, and soaked up a few pleasures in my current garden. Joined by our cat.

I dreamt of *real* blueberry trees, rather than the straggly stick with a few blossoms that we have. And envisioned the vegie patch, and fruit groves, and the flower and herb gardens.

Sometimes I live on dreams. They are what get me through a day of living in a messy house, or whingy kids (or yelling mum!), or over-due bills. For a while now I have been living in this house and dreaming daily about our new home. I have moved out of this house, in my fantasy world, and now have a large sprawling acreage with space for many trees, and a hiding places for us and the fairies. In an old Queenslander house, with space for my own sewing room, and pot belly fireplace, and studio for Sam and me to *build our dream business*.

Actually, simply space to stop and be still, to hear the birds, to watch the flowers and the vegies grow, to feel the breeze and the water tumbling over our toes. To sit or run or dance or sing as our hearts desire.

A place for dreams to happen, to come true.

:: I've realised that we took no photos of the glorious views, so I'm sorry, you'll have to take my word for how magical the place is. And hopefully there'll be a next time ::

Does anyone know what this plant is? I bought it years ago, as a tiny leafy thing. It dies down each year, and has now sent up this amazing brilliant red bud. The base is like a big fat bulb, with red speckled leaves. I will take more photos as the flower opens further.

red :: apple :: spots

"Give me spots on my apples but leave me the birds and the bees. Please."

Big Yellow Taxi - Joni.

I was singing this song last night, in my head, while finishing up my sewing and watching the rain outside and trees blowing and casting shadows.

Two new dresses - completed. Both yesterday. One for Mishi, one for a little friend.

Mishi wore her little apple shirred dress when we went out visiting our friends. And we spent a lovely day in the warm of their kitchen; warm house, warm hearts. Away from the rain and wind. Simple apple cotton, with little green leaves and black stems. Shirred bodice; same as this dress (which I thought I had blogged about, but can't find).

A fairly easy dress style to make, as it doesn't have to fit perfectly. And it can be worn as a dress, a skirt or a shirt over pants when she gets bigger. Plus it looks super cute on her, with the skirt part flaring out - lots of fun dancing shapes.

The soft red baby-cord dress is a made-up pattern. I roughly traced a dress of Mishi's, but basically made it up step by step as I went along. I did a fair bit of unpicking yesterday, but I think I got that all out of my system and can now make a few more like this without the hassles.

I sewed an invisible zip - and now know how best to do that for future! I made my own spotty binding. It's not bias binding, as I really didn't have the energy at midnight (....1am) last night to measure, cut, sew all that extra. It works just as well being straight-grain binding.

I always figure that for children's clothing you have a bit of leeway in fit and things like that. Maybe for myself I might make the effort of bias binding, but in all honesty I think it worked pretty well the way I did it.

I am so super pleased with this dress. The binding makes it look "real" - as in something that professionals make. It's not too messy; yes it does look handcrafted, but that's the idea isn't it. I know next time I make this dress style it will be neater, bit better, easier, quicker (not an hour to sew four binding parts; neck, two arms, hem).

And, there will be a next time. Quite soon, I think! Yesterday when I told Mishi that the red dress wasn't for her, but for our friend (who's birthday was a few months ago), she got very upset. Mishi stood there, in her new apple dress (!), and pouted and made grumpy noises at me. Not a happy girl. I told her I would be making her one out of the purple cord, and she hugged the fabric and smiled. So, I'll be up late tonight making more dresses.

Hopefully I'll have something to show you after the weekend......

We're going to deliver the new dress today, so maybe I'll manage some photos of people in the new dresses; rather than hangers.

language :: 17 month

Yesterday, Mishi said her own name for the very first time. She was lying down, while I changed her nappy, and she pointed - with both her hands - to her chest and said "Mishi". Today, while she was sitting in the little wooden highchair at Sylvie's house, she looked at me, with a knowing smile, and a tilt of her head and said "Mishi Mishi Mishi". And she smiled at me, with pleasure and delight; and I smiled at her with pleasure and delight and pride.

Each day she says a new word, often more than one word. She is so quick at mimicking Ari, constantly repeating words that he says. Often it's 'pooh pooh', knowing the joke as she says it. She has so many words now, that I'm not sure I can even put them all down here. Some words are more prevalent in our days, while other words appear momentarily as she repeats them. Sometimes she doesn't have words, but lots of little chattering noises, I know she's talking, but can't understand what she's actually saying. Sometimes she just talks and chatters to the dolls or the teddies, and often little singing sounds to herself.

'bird'; one of her very first words.

'no'; generally very emphatically, and lots of humour, and a cheeky smile. And big shaking of her head, more times than necessary.

'bye'; very quietly, and just as often when the person has actually gone. She is saying it on the phone now; sitting there not saying a word, but listening intently and then finally saying 'bye' when we tell her it's time to go.

'chook' and 'duck' and 'sheep' and 'cat' - 'Loulou' (which is our cat's name - and she knows the difference between other cats and Loulou). She says 'Ash' quite often, and 'Ari', but very quietly, not quite saying all the sounds - more like 'Asz' and 'A-i'.

'baus' (bath); 'shwr' (shower); 'tees' (teeth).

And sounds in songs - like in a "Froggy went a Courtin'*"she knows the 'uh-hum uh-hum' bit.

Of course, 'Mama', 'Mummy', and 'Daddy'. Last week she called Granddad (Sam's dad) 'dada'.

Yesterday she said 'knock knock', when Ari was saying jokes.

So many of her sounds I can hear words in, but I think that other people wouldn't be able to recognise it as a proper word. Generally Ari and I can understand best because we are with her all day, and we talk to her and listen to her. Sam too knows her words. And Grandma Mary (Sam's mum) can make out words too because she is really there with the kids, when she's with them - know what I mean?

She really is quite an observant little girl; taking everything in and reacting to things. She finds bits of things on the table, or fluff on the floor, and will take off to put them in the bin. A few weeks ago when a friend was visiting and we were all in our kitchen, my friend said to one of the bigger kids that she would sit on a cushion. Mishi went off into the lounge room and brought a cushion back for my friend to sit on. My friend and I looked at each other with a bit of disbelief.

The same day she brought socks to Ash, that he had discarded in our front room. I had been asking him for quite a while to put them on - it's Winter here. She had heard me saying over and over to him to put them on, and noticed that he was ignoring me. She gave the socks to him and said 'szoks'.

Last night she said 'bub-bels', while we sat on the front steps and blew from the bubble blower. A two-syllable word.

And recently 'flwr' has made it's way into her vocabulary - and she stops and reaches down and picks one, and sniffs it and passes it up to me. Knowing the love I take in being given flowers collected by my babies. Little clover flowers or grass seeds or colourful seedpods.

I'm sure there are more words that I can't think about now. Each day she changes again, and reaches a little higher into girl, rather than baby.

Tonight she learnt how to jump like a frog; crouching right down on the ground and then jumping up to stand-straight legs stretching onto her tippy-toes. A few times she actually jumped off the floor.

She really is so much of herself. Her personality shines through. I can see aspects of who she may be - quite a sweet girl, yet also I know she will have her own will. A very strong will about what she wants and doesn't want. She already knows how to pout, and crying to get her way. She knows how to woo people around her, with her smile and sweet pretty face.

She dances with such abandon, happily clapping her hands or spinning round and round until she's dizzy. Or nodding her head in beat with the music, and bopping her legs about.

It's past her 17month date, and I have been slack with doing these little updates. I find it hard to remember the precious moments at the end of the day - how will I remember them in five or 25 years? She will ask me things about herself as a baby or child, those things that I yearn to know about myself (but my Mother can never answer, and my Father doesn't remember). So, Mishi darling, I hope this is enough for when you have children of your own.

Maybe you could read Amy's notes of her daughter, who is only two months older than Mish. Most of what I read about little Junie, is what I see Mishi doing, or know she will be doing in milliseconds.

*I did a search for this, but couldn't find a version like the two we have - both are quite innocent and don't include the pistol and sword part; but do a search if you don't know what song I mean. It's quite fun. We have this CD (which we love, and even I can listen to on repeat and repeat and repeat) and this one (which Ari loves so much - we know each song, and even the order they play in!).

too many words

I have about four or more half written posts, but they have all meandered off onto so many topics, that I don't know which direction my thoughts are rambling. I've decided instead of trying to reign in my thoughts, that I will just offer you some images (with a little commentary) of our past few days.

My now very tidy dressing table. The before was terrible. I packed a lot of my jewellery into a box; haven't been able to wear lots of it since having kids. Maybe at the new house I'll be able to start wearing earrings again!

Our crazy, yet so lovable Auntie Sylve visited yesterday. She likes a good pose or two!

Making faces. Mishi copies everything that Ari does, which is wonderful - and scary. Ari is wearing a singlet that I screenprinted about 10+ years ago, at TAFE; it was in my throw outs, yet looks great on him.

This is how I like my kids looking. I made the pants for Ari, matches with a plain shirt (rather than the printed logo things he often wears; they are all hand-downs). Mishi's dress is from Seed, with a really lovely Indian-style shirt underneath; a hand-down from Sylve.
The boy eats salad! He made it himself, and then happily ate the whole bowl, declaring "hmmmm, yes, quite yummy".



Trying to get a little bit of embroidery done; didn't happen - too much tree climbing and running and playing.

Embroidery thread + rusty old tin :: more of my Mum's craft boxes, that we are slowly starting to use; rather than letting it rust into oblivion.

Milk. She pats my chest and says "mek", and when she's had enough she pulls away and says "finshd" and smiles - oftentimes when she's meant to be going to sleep.
Playing dress-ups, and doing a show. Packing boxes - we are slowly packing up our house, decluttering to put it on the market. And then move into our dream house :: well, we can dream anyway.

You can see more at my flickr, which I have finally uploaded some more images to.

I made a decision today, that in order for me to keep this blog, and my flickr, updated as often as I would wish; that I will not (CAN NOT) look at other people's blog until I have done what I want on my own blog first. Rather than doing all the blog visiting that I indulge in; I think at the moment my only addiction......

everyday :: today

Last night I made a rather rash statement about posting everyday this week, so here I am, attempting it. So, what to write about. Writing for the sake of writing, for the sake of words themselves or to tell a story as a whole. Or just simply to ramble.

Could I simply write a whole list of words that I like. Words or phrases that sound good to me. That I like to repeat in my head. Could I? Would you be bored? Does it matter?

:: :: ::

This morning I drove to work in the rain. The traffic and the rain. I listened to Syd Straw 'Surprise' on the cd player. I sang. I thought about my dad, who's cd it is. Borrowed from him, along with some Joni. There was an accident round the corner from our house (not very bad one; only tow-trucks), and a very slow L driver in the fast lane. Lots of road work on the way. I was only 2 minutes late for work.

I drove home this afternoon with the traffic. And the red, pink, bruised purple clouds. The golden sun hues bursting through the clouds. The swirls of red cloud, that looked like ink mixing into water. The blue clouds that looked like mountains in the distance.

I thought about all the things I want to do, be achieving. Not in a stressed way, but an excited, anticipated way. You know when you're on the verge of new beginnings in so many things, when new paths are opening and you can see possibilities. When you are approaching the cliff, and deciding to jump - hoping you will fly, but not minding if you tumble and crash to the rocks and waves below. Knowing that someone will rescue you, because family does that sort of thing.

Do you know that feeling? It's been coursing through my veins, blood, body for weeks now. Things (life) slowing it all down. but that's okay.

I'm good at living in my dreams, imaginations, possibilities, wishes.

And when I came home, opening the gate that has a pleasing squeak, hearing the even more pleasant sound of little feet running to the door. Of little hands opening the front door, and a little voice saying 'it is Mama', and then, a little face peeking out. And a big smile beaming at me. Two smiles. And hugging arms, and tumbling words. This is the best part about going out (to work, or for coffee with friends); coming home to the little ones.

:: :: ::

Obviously I have no photos of the awe-inspiring sunset I saw today (I would have caused an accident, even if I had had my camera on me). These photos are really old ones, that I just stumbled across in my computer. Little moments from the past year or more - the yellow runnunculus flowers are form our garden last year (none this year), while the other two are from at my dad's house, and walking on his land.

a bit of midnight silliness

My eldest sister sent me this today. A little bit of fun. Someone had a *few spare hours* to put this thing together.

Apparently, I am 95078578470 milliseconds old. That sounds lots more than 30.15 - which actually sounds even older than just plain old 30. What have I done with the .15 since my birthday?

These are the little things that make up my character. Yep, some are true. They are things I have read in horoscopes - I'm a Gemini. I always love the part where it says *Beautiful physically and mentally*, as if being born at a particular time of the year makes you more or less beautiful. (Though it does always make me smile a little secretly when I read this. You know what I mean).

23 MAY 1978
* Stubborn and hard-hearted
* Strong-willed and highly motivated
* Sharp thoughts
* Easily angered
* Attracts others and loves attention
* Deep feelings
* Beautiful physically and mentally
* Firm standpoint
* Easily influenced
* Needs no motivation
* Easily consoled
* Systematic (left brain)
* Loves to dream
* Strong clairvoyance
* Understanding
* Sickness usually in the ear and neck
* Good imagination
* Good debating skills
* Good physical
* Weak breathing
* Loves literature and the arts
* Loves traveling
* Dislike being at home
* Restless
* Hardworking
* High spirited
* Spendthrift

Age in years ~ 30.15
Age in months ~ 362
Age in days ~ 11004
Age in hours ~ 264107
Age in minutes ~ 15846435
Age in seconds ~ 950786087
Age in Milli seconds ~ 95078608722
Age in weeks ~ 77031
You born on ~ Tuesday.

Please let me know if the link isn't linked.. actually, I'm not entirely sure how to do that part at all. But, I am *sharp thoughts*. (does this mean I think about scissors and thorns and blades and things.....hmmmmm). Okay, okay.. the excel document can't upload. If you are at all curious and want to put your own birthday in, please email me - so I can email to you. ellieabeck@hotmail.com

PS - this post if just so that I can post something today. Maybe I could try one post each day this week. Ooohhhh, not sure how we'll go on that one.

potato people

We have had this wonderful book for quite a while, and enjoy reading and talking about it. "The Potato People" by the fantastic New Zealand author and illustrator Pamella Allen. It's about a grandma and her grandson who spend each Friday together (his mum works, I assume she's a single mum). One rainy day they make some potato people using four potatoes and some thumb tacks and scraps of fabric and other little pieces. After a few weeks the potatoes start to grow horns, and Grandma plants them.

We've talked often about making our own little people, and finally this week I remembered to buy some extra potatoes for Ari to use. Yesterday he sat down, while I started dinner, and made some amazing and fun creatures. Each potato seemed the have many reincarnations as he pulled bits out and changed bits here and there. Some wooden bamboo skewers and coloured thumb tacks was enough to keep him happy and creatively thinking for quite a while.

He made stories up about his robot potatoes, some had head phones, some had poky ears, or buttons. They had spiky hair and cute little coloured eyes.

When he woke up this morning the first thing he asked, before even out of bed, was if the potatoes had grown horns yet. He wanted to run and check to see if they were decomposing and getting ready for the compost, or planting heap. I told him that they'll take a little while before they start to grow shoots.

In the meantime we'll watch them each day, waiting and looking. And learning more about how things work, how our food grows, how seeds are different shapes, how plants - and even animals - can grow from different beginnings.

Rare moments of sitting quietly reading, together. They are looking at - reading - Beatrix Potter, and choosing which one they like best.

And Sam and I will marvel, once again, at the ingenuity and imagination and ideas and intelligence and creativeness of our son.

This is a pull-along Humpty Dumpty that has been mine since I was about 3 years old. Been through a bit this little one, but made of tough Fisher Price quality.

Another favourite Pamela Allen story is "Mr McGee and the Biting Flee". We all (me included!) get quite laughy when we get to the part where he removes all his clothes, to find the flee, and you get to see little bits of the naked man before he jumps into the ocean. Not a whole lot of kids books show that part of the body. Please, see if your local library has any of her books, a long list, they are all quite wonderful for the pictures and well and the language and simple stories and words.