rosey garlands // rosey cheeks //

Last weekend we made some garlands with the petals from our roses. The roses were nearing the end of their blooming beauty, and some had begun to let their petals tumble onto our table. We thought this would be a great way of remembering the velvety roses and having some fun as well. 

The garlands themselves were very simply stitched with a needle gently through each petal, and threaded onto some variegated embroidery thread we had. The kids decided that they wanted head garlands as well as one necklace for Ari - it matched his t-shirt better!

What fun they had in the garden. Running and giggling and being silly. They do love posing and playing up for the camera. And with lush green grass and vibrant colours as the background I just snapped and snapped as they kept on posing and moving and giggling and finding new props. I'm so glad our beautiful cat Lou-Lou made it into the photos too - even though he wasn't the most willing model. 

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I think these photos perfectly sum up what I wish and hope my Mother's Day to be. My beautiful babies enjoying living in the same place that my beautiful mama (and dad) raised me and my siblings. Exploring and discovering treasures in our forest. Sitting still and watching little birds with fascination and joy. Running and laughing and being children. And all the while making this mama's heart sing through the pure joy they are experiencing. 

Oh yes. So it is. Happy Mother's Day to all you Mamas out there. 

{and extra big hugs to all those of you who are missing your mama today}. 

E xxxx

This; Today

This morning we woke up in the dark, and warmed the chai to go into the thermos.
We drove along with our high beams on, wondering if we'd see any foxes along the road, or what other animals we may spot.
Slowly slowly, ever so slowly we saw the first light creep into the sky as our car headed closer to the coast.
The kids spoke in excited and joyful voices - at seeing the morning begin.

We walked along the sandy path, with the sky now light enough so that we could see without a torch. We marvelled at how quickly the light was filling the sky, even though the sun had not yet peeked over the horizon.

Eventually we walked up the final steps and the kids excitedly pointed out that the lighthouse still had it's light shining. They'd only ever seen it during daylight hours, and hadn't even realised it was still a working lighthouse!

A little cloud sat exactly where the sun was coming up, and created a golden glow. It also seemed to extend the moment of 'sunrise' for a few moments, which was lovely as the others were a tad bit late for actual sunrise! Due to all the clouds it wasn't the most spectacular sunrise I've seen from Fingal Headland, but still beautiful none-the-less. And made even more special by the breakfast feast we shared, which included baked deliciousness, hot chocolates and hot chai.

Perhaps the most magical moment of all was seeing not one but two pods of dolphins; who played and surfed and jumped through the waves while we all watched with joyful and excited expressions on our faces.

** I'd like to say heart-felt thank yous to everyone who left a comment here, on facebook, and on Instagram about my mama. It means so much to have that connection and your thoughts. If I hadn't been so tired this past week (with more than one or two day time naps taking up my time.....), I'd have replied individually to you all. xxxxx

::::::::::::::::::::

As I write this, it's the eve of the day. This day. 10 years since our lives were rocked and shattered. 

10 years is a long time. I don't want it to have been 10 years. I don't want one day for it to have been more than half my life. And one day for me to be the age that she was. But those things will happen.

It's been on my mind much these past few weeks. The coming up of a memory day; anniversary doesn't seem the right word...

Each day doesn't get easier as such. One just learns to live with it. To come to terms with it. After this much time in my life, I have come to terms with it - to a degree. I still can't believe it. Don't know why. Why why why. 

Huh! Why not, I remind myself. It's the cycle and the flow. It's necessary. It's inevitable. And that I suppose is the scary part in a different sense. 

Living on this land, that I think of as my mother's land, brings me closer to her. Closer in one way and further in another way. Because she should be here with me, when I'm here. She should, she should! But then - when I hear and see the black cockatoos careening and playing and stretching across the sky I think of her, I feel her. And she's here. When I see the flowers and plants she planted I know she's here.

It's said that the best way to honour and remember our loved ones is to talk of them, and keep them in our thoughts, our hearts, our minds. For me - I know that I am keeping my mother alive through my doing, my making, my being. 

Each year it becomes more and more important for me to continue on with my journey as a maker, a creative, an artist, a crafter because I know that those are the things that my mama would love to see in me. I know those are the parts of me that would make her happy. That we would sit and crochet together, or she would have got me back into knitting. She with her wild crazy colours, and her not-always perfect stitches. She with her silly giggle and her elbows moving, me at her side. Me at her side.

We would explore the forest, and find treasures and pieces to put into a dye pot. We would stitch and wrap fabric and be witches together in the sunshine, or under the moonlight. The children would follow her, and jump in the freezing cold creek with her. She would take them to the beach, and make them swallow a mouthful salt water to heal them - and to connect with their past, and their future. She would walk along and gather shells and driftwood and build castles with them. She would be wearing her pinkish sarong and a big straw hat. And because it might be Summer she'd have sandals on. In Winter big leather boots under her dresses.

These are the things she'd be doing. She'd make us smile. She'd remind us that we are beautiful. And to laugh at ourselves. To explore and adventure. And to be humble. She'd listen and then tell us her wisdom. Perhaps she'd toss the I-Ching coins for us. She'd wonder if she should do this or do something else - she'd never be sure where her path lay, but she'd surely help us along our path. 

She'd always be there for us. Always know us. At our side. At our side.

////

The magnolia is blooming.
I can smell the perfume when I walk outside.
And inside as well, one bloom in a simple vase. Oh - the things that can make one smile and a tear well in my eye too.

A little bee was taking nectar. Full yellow pollen on it's back legs. Oh little bee.

Friday is my mama's birthday. I am thinking I will perhaps bake a cake for her. To think of her. And talk about her with my little ones. Maybe we'll light a candle and smile and cry a little too.

My mama planted this magnolia tree many moons ago. A lifetime ago, in fact. And now here it is, keeping me company in my here and now lifetime.

What things keep you in the past. In a good way. A simple jig to remind me.
What is it that brings a tear and a smile?

then out again........

it's that time of my life again.
i am trying to not feel glum. or sad. or depressed about it. or angry. annoyed. or simply quiet and down. or unsure.
i'm trying to think other things about it.

i'm trying to know the good things about my mama. about who she was. what she was. how she was.

i'm trying to be her. be like her. know her. think like her.
be her.

a big butterfly just flittered in the window. around my head. slowly and deliberately. then out again.
that's what life is. isn't it. a slow float like a butterfly on the wings of the wind. sometimes we flap and propel ourselves. sometimes we let the breeze take us. sometimes it's deliberate. mostly it just happens.

tell me a sweet story about your own mama. oh, i'd love to hear that. please share.

party dresses for my mama

today is my mother's birthday. she's not here to celebrate - but she's here, in my heart, mind, soul. so she's somewhere.

so we will make a cake for her - i know my mum would love that we make cakes for her birthday. and light a candle and sing and celebrate with happiness. and think about her. she would really like the cake - that's for sure. probably some champagne and orange juice as well - but we won't do that; we'll just think about it and know she liked that.
so - i'm not feeling too philosophical to talk about my mum. just a bit perhaps. last night, while driving home on my own in the dark, i was listening to joni and thinking of my mum. a few tears, some extra loud singing, and some smiling as well.

 {images from my 'clippings folder' that i haven't yet uploaded to pinterest. this is what i did before pinterest came along..... top left: from Toast, top right: from Selvedge Magazine, bottom left: Zooey on the English Muse, bottom right: Catherine Maladrino

anyway - i thought that instead of sadness, i would think about what dress i would be wearing to my mama's party today if she was here to have a party with us. and what cake would we make her? something fun and indulgent and extravagant perhaps - the dress and the cake!!

dress making will happen once the kids go back to school. for now just planning and thinking about what the dress may be.
one of Leah's aims for this year is to make herself a dress - i aim to be making mine over the coming weeks. will you join me maybe - in making a party dress to wear to my mama's party. what would you make / wear? please share with me.


places that i am looking for inspiration ::
+ my pinterest clothing board
+ these lovely free downloadable patterns from Nani Iro - which would totally mean some new fabric, wouldn't it!!
+ Veronika Maine - endlessly classic and inspiring to me. loving her blue / green combinations.
+ Toast - always. i love receiving the catalogues. sumptious silk velvets in jewel colours. i used to have a most beautiful, simple and perfectly fitted deep green silk velvet dress that floated and swung about. oh - i loved it.
+ other endless clippings on my computer, that I keep aiming to upload to Pinterest.
...... for a start anyway......... perhaps i'll aim to sew myself a new dress once a month. wouldn't that be lovely. oh yes. my mama would love that for sure!


happy birthday mummy plummy. cakes and candles and dressing up for you today.