and then i went for a walk.... no-one will bloom on your behalf

This afternoon I started to feel a bit low. A bit of a slump. I looked around at all the things I should have been doing (already done) like the washing up or vacuuming the floor, or planning what we would have for dinner....

And overthinking how I felt about how things I put out there were responded to. 

Overthinking....

Yep, that's not a good one is it. Sometimes overthinking can be good, but often I think it just leads to a bit feeling blurgh. 

But it does make me feel heart sad when I put things 'out there' and don't get the reaction, response or results that I'd hoped or expected. I try hard to chin up and stay positive, but this grey cloud sky day wasn't helping. 

So... I went for a walk. It has given me some fresh air and a lighter step.

This peach tree that was washed out of root structure earlier in the year, and we had to cut it off the path way. Look at it - it's still producing flowers. Wow. This thing has been literally washed out of the ground and had a saw at it and it's still doing it's best to do what it needs to do. That's inspiring isn't it. 

This orange tree is growing in quite a compromised spot, with low sunlight and lots of moss covering it's branches. Still it's producing fruits that soon we'll be able to eat and enjoy. 

This beautiful dahlia plant was growing gloriously on the edge of a house site. The whole house burnt down a few months ago, and the whole garden has been removed / bulldozed, except this plant blooming on and on... 

So, I came to the thought that :

Despite obstacles, one must keep trying,

Because no-one else will bloom 

or flourish on your behalf.

That's it. That's all for today. Just my little feeling a bit blurgh and low and wishing things sometimes weren't as hard as they are. And that sometimes when I put something out there it goes bang bang, and boom boom. And all the hard work and effort and energy pays off. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn't. That's life I guess... isn't it. 

Happy Monday friends xxx

{ps - you can book a spot in our upcoming workshop gather :: create and find your own way of blooming. Booking details are here.}

in the raindrops and the early mist

"Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf" Rabindranath Tagore

The weather has been quite spectacular this past month. Hot hot days combined with afternoon Summer storms. Creating beautiful scenes everywhere we look. 

I captured this lightning shot on my phone - after a crazy hot and sticky day we headed for the creek to cool down, only to be joined by the most amazing company of thunder and lightning across the valley. A quick jump in the water and then driving home in the pouring rain.

I endlessly find inspiration in the tiny minute details of a blade of grass or a thread of spider silk. A rain drop rolling down a leaf is such an intoxicating moment to enjoy.

primivera // a Spring jasmine crown and a forest fairy

Happy Spring! 

We found the jasmine flowering behind the water tank. She said, can we make a crown. Of course of course. A Spring crown for my little forest fairy. Welcoming Spring. With her smile. 

I couldn't choose just one favourite from the 200-odd photos that I took. We were chasing the last of the afternoon light, but the garden looks glowing and glorious in the last days of Winter when we shot these. 

Jasmine makes me think of our wedding day. Last week we celebrated our nine year wedding anniversary. Our flower girl, so young back then, wore jasmine in her hair and twirled around her flower basket. We cut the flowers from the house up the road from where we were living at the time. I'm so glad there's jasmine here now, on this land. That my mum planted it, despite it being a bad weed that will want to creep over everything, it hasn't been too bad in the years since it was planted. It's good to have that perfume of jasmine mingling with citrus blossoms filling the air. 

If you are welcoming Autumn, I hope it's lovely watching the leaves change colour and fall and scatter on the ground. The blossoms aren't last long here, it seems Spring will be fleeting and Summer will be upon us before we know it. Right now, I am soaking up every single moment of early Spring flowers as I can. Check out my IG feed, there seems to be a flower every second photo!

an under the lemon tree list

I am one of those people who wants things to happen. And dreams about it happening. But doesn't really put the planning into how to make it happen. Hmmmm - sometimes it (whatever this it is I'm talking about?) happens on it's own, mostly it just doesn't happen.

So, with the year already half gone and disappeared, I've decided now is a good a time as any to change 35 years of training to be a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants type girl. AND MAKE SOME PLANS!

You don't really want to hear them all. Plans are plans. But some, can I share some? Here goes:

+ garden. Get it happening and growing again. It was such a beautiful and nourishing place for me to be, and so good to gather our dinner ingredients and share country goodness with our city family.

+ learn my big (expensive) camera. How to make it work to it's best. Often times I'm finding my photos are massive file sizes, but fuzzy resolution. So disappointing. 

+ spend more time using my real real (film) camera. Is it even possible to get film anymore?

+ dedicate time for connecting and gathering with other creatives. Monthly? Is that too often? 

+ Write that big list of jobs around the house and land and make them happen. 

+ have more photos taken of me, with my family. Be happy with the photos taken of me (that's a hard one sometimes.. any excellent "make-me-look-better-than-a-model" type of photographers out there?).

+ baking and cooking :: bread, wholesome sweets for my little ones, overcoming my "irrational fear" of preserving and canning.

+ weekly dedicated planned crafting / making time with my little ones. 

+ more walking on and around our land. Exploring time and time again. 

Ah. That's a few for now. Good to start with giant leaps isn't it. Just do it all at once, no baby steps or anything. Yep. Life solved. Go forth and be fantastic now that I have my list. Uh Huh!?

How are you at list making? 

Do you make and follow? 

Or make a list of the things you've already done, so you can cross that off?

Here's to an excellent, exciting, exploring, enticing week for you all. xxx

{oh, and I think I just realised the lemon tree significance - ok, I must make lemonade or maybe lemon curd or preserved lemons out of life}.

a good good day - Natural Arch

We realised on Saturday that we had never taken the children to see the wonderful natural rock formation and waterfall of Natural Arch. Actually we did go when Ari was a small tiny baby - he tells us he thinks maybe he could remember being there then, but then he wasn't quite sure! So, on Sunday morning we decided to go for a lovely family outing. And boy was it good.

It's only about 1/2 away from our house - over the border into Queensland. Lovely drive up the mountain range, to the view at the top, then down again and the spectacular countryside down the otherside.

The kids had such a good good time. Ari gave the biggest hug and said 'thank you for bringing us'. He really did love it.

You stand inside the cave, listening to the water fall and fall and fall. It's a roar in there. Can't talk, or hear. You can call and yell and make funny noises.

In Summer time there are glow worms and mushrooms to be seen. We'll take the kids back then. 

A reminded to do things. Not need to plan and rush about. Simply to do it. To breathe together, walk together, laugh together. Simple things - walking in the forest looking at moss and fairy houses and mushrooms.

this morning..... seeing the rainbow through the rain

This morning my alarm went off really early. At 6am. That is early for me. I know some of you jump out of bed at 5am or earlier - but I don't. And, most importantly, neither do my kids (yah to that!!). Sam and I got up and wondered why, oh why do people actually get up at that time of the day. I looked at the sky; yes, yes. I know why people get up that early. Beautiful to be awake in the morning when the early colours are starting to shine through, and the morning birds are calling.

I was up early for a breakfast business meeting in town. For some ideas to spark and start things happening. And yes - oh yes. Some good things. We'll see, of course, if it all gets caught up in red tape of local council, or if things can move along and make some changes in this town of mine. I'll talk more about it at another time.

For now I just wanted to show you my view while driving into town this morning. I felt like I could almost reach out to touch the pot of gold in that shimmery field.
It was also lovely to see Ms Helle - in all her vivacious cynical glory!

the garden song and dance

If you can't find me anywhere else, look for me in the garden.

I'm loving this little space of ours. The first proper real vege garden we've had in a long long time. It's not really very planned, but it's growing happily and that's what matters most.

I am enjoying just sitting at the garden and watching what has grown from yesterday, or even this morning. Seeing the growth of little plants, and the changes that are happening every single day is just wonderful. Now that Spring is here it is so easy to notice the changes. I'm soaking it all up.

I do think one of the big reasons I'm enjoying being in this little spot so much is because of the possibilities of it all. What will we eat over the coming weeks and months. What new plants and seeds will I put in those extra spaces. What will we have extra of that we'll be able to preserve for the colder months. Oh the possibilities. Also, the fact that I can see things happening - well nothing much is happening around the rest of our lives, nothing so obvious anyway.

[House building is creeping closer to beginning. We bought some second hand windows + doors yesterday, and I do think we have almost got a final house plan. And my dad is almost ready to begin the job. I guess we do have to wait for the weather to be sunshiney now.....].

We have lots of lettuce at the moment. Some lovely freckle leaf lettuces that I enjoy looking at.
The carrots are growing slowly - we're waiting eagerly, impatiently.
The snow peas are popping new flowers each day. So beautiful. Snow pea dance. The flowers look like a Georgia O'Keeffe painting contender. Oh yes.
The strawberries are growing bit by bit - green fruits, we made a good little bamboo frame with netting for them to be protected from the birds. There is so much happening, and I keep planning and dreaming more.
Silverbeet and Asian greens happily being picked every second day or so.
Basil and tomatoes growing beside each other. Not ready yet, but growing. A creature has been nibbling the tops of the tomato plants, but there are more - and more planted. I'm planning a whole bed of tomatoes for eating raw fresh from the bush, cooked and also (hoping hoping) preserved / canned.

"I have but one desire as a painter – that is to paint what I see, as I see it, in my own way, without regard for the desires or taste of the professional dealer or the professional collector."-
Georgia O’Keeffe

from outside

Outside Spring is already bursting forth. The Autumn colours are still on the ground where they fell what seems only a few short months ago. It is still cold at night, and morning - but I do think that the Winter has passed. Of course, it could trick us all and pop back again with one or two last frosty nights which may freeze those little blossoms.

While we're watching the world move along, quite quickly, we are still moving in our slow motion way. Still only talking about the building process - nothing started. It feels like we need the biggest push to get started. This means, also, no work as there's no space for working.

I have been doing small bottles of solar dyeing. Little experiments. It's fun, but then the waiting to see what it will be - well that's good too.

School is back now. Week two already. Trying to settle into a rhythm of some sort. I think perhaps that will never successfully happen in this tiny house. The house is often messy, as there's no space for everything to live - all my paperwork, books, thoughts spilling and joining with the children's toys, clothes, school pieces, noise, voices, dramas, smiles............. Living within each other.