doing, making, baking, dancing, being

Big Ted was allowed to have icecream and biscuit at dinner time, while Ari had to eat his dinner. Felt food that I've been enjoying sewing lately.

We've been in :: out :: round-a-bout :: up :: down :: turn-a-round of late. Lots of things, and not much happening all at once. Seems like every day going out, visiting, playing at the park, yoga, meeting friends, driving (did I mention that I finally got my licence a few weeks ago.. Yes finally, I'm 29 and can now drive all on my own!). All this constantness has been good and bad.

Good, in terms of the kids seem to be getting a bit crazy and bored at home lately. Our back room is still in mess-mode from kitchen reno stuff :: paint, wood, junk, old oven, etc... So not a heap of space for crafting and that sort of thing. We have been making do in other ways, some not as successful as others. We've discovered some lovely new parks and had fun with friends, and done a good deal of driving and learning how to try and be quiet for Mama in the car. Good that we can be out in the lovely weather, pushing our toes into dirt, swinging on swings, having Mama's full attention while on our little outings.

Bad in the sense that nothing has been getting done at home lately. Washing piling up, mess attracting more mess. Also that general tiredness that happens to us all when we are out so much. Sometimes it really is wonderful just to be at home and not have to :: want to go and be somewhere else. Its good just to sit and talk, talk, talk. Have our own space, things, noise. Not feel as if we are encroaching on someone else, or that they are taking our airspace, play-space, good spot in the shady grass.

We've been making bread lately. A few batches. Finally I have a new good oven A real oven. Previous to this we've either had gas ovens or a convection/microwave thing my Grandma gave us second-hand. I love my new oven, even though I'm still learning how best it works. So far our baking has been quite successful.

Baking bread, the kneading especially always reminds me of my Mum. She used to make wonderful bread, pungent aroma, soft, fluffy, so tasty buttered warm. I have such warm thoughts of her strong arms and hands pushing and pulling the dough into the rams head shape. I love doing this when I make bread. I never mix it by machine, and don't have a bread maker machine to bake it in. This is one thing that I feel I always want to be able to feel and be a part of all the processes.

It has been a bit hard to achieve things as of late. Mish won't sit on her own for long at all. I hope its just a little 'phase' she's going through, but she cries and cries or moans to be picked up. And not by anyone but Mama. She's teething and I'm hoping that this is the primary reason for this little bit of needing cuddles and more attention. She has just started calling "Meh ma-mam". I love those first real "words", evolving from necessity. Along with teething and talking, she has finally started with real dedication to learn to crawl. A few little knee moves while up on all fours, and pulling herself reaching out for something. Previous to this she has been doing the backwards slide. Downward dog is a great little pose she's showing a lot of. Yet, thoughout all this, her smiles are getting bigger, her laughing so cheerful and directed.

Rock Around the Clock tonight. "Mummy look at what time it is".

Ari too, has been quite trying of late. The cheekiness has crept up on us over the past few months. And our little kid, who was such a sweet natured and quiet boy, is showing us more and more of his determination and willful side. I am trying every day to give him more and more leniency and learn how to not yell - I mean, it's no use as he doesn't listen to yelling any more or less than he listens to quiet talk. I think, hope that I'll work out better ways of being with him through this stage of asserting himself.

Dancing round and round.

One little thing I've found, apart from trips to the park or shop or friends, is listening to music. We've had Hullabaloo on repeat for the last few days. And all three of us have danced and jumped and sung and laughed around the kitchen. Such simple ways of enjoying ourselves, and being together and having easier days.

birthday making plans

It is Ari's birthday in a little over a month. We are giving him a bike, but I want to make a few little things for him this year. I have in mind some of these lovely little felt food-things, maybe vegetables + fruit, and a few treats and special things. He loves playing kitchen (house) and cooking so much, that I know he will really enjoy these. I have to head into town soon, to buy some sewing supplies! And then find the moments of quiet to cut and stitch - the inspiration is definitely out there. If anyone has hints or tips to help me out, I'd love to hear from you.

I have been slowly going through all our things, mainly toys, and trying to rid ourselves of stuff. It accumulates too easily and quickly, and I know coming up to birthday and Christmas it will be added to by family members. This year I am going to ask for no plastic toys - possibly only one of those kids digital cameras, so he doesn't break ours but can show us his viewpoint of things a bit more.

Other ideas that having been sloshing about in my brain are what I'm going to make for the party bags. I'm not really keen on giving away a bag of lollies and plastic toys - just because that's what you should do. I'd like to make some banners/flags, and maybe a little bag or tote or maybe just a simple drawstring bag. These would also be cute, but totally out of my league at the moment (ability or time frame). Possibly some homemade playdough. And... hmmm. I'm not sure what else would/could go in, that I could make quantity of. I don't know how many kids we will invite, so not sure how many I'll need to make. Does anyone have any great party bag ideas to get me started??

Also, a bit of sewing for my niece and nephew planned for this week. My sewing machine has been sitting idly, patiently, waiting for this kitchen work to be closer to finished. And the hectic, sleepless, noisy days seem to be easing a little. Giving me more headspace, and - hopefully - more real space to get some work done. My mind is ticking over with plans of projects to start.

A very busy month ahead - if only I can produce what I have promised (myself) that I know I should be able to do. So, hopefully some photos of my work in a few days (....weeks).

21 + giraffes

Giraffes on the horizon. These metal structures /cranes look like a parade of giraffes.

I went to yoga today, after about five weeks of not going. A whole heap of reasons why I haven't been for so long :: me being a little teeny tiny bit lazy is not number one, but definitely up there! On the back of the toilet door I saw a little sign, once I'd sat down, that said ::

"21 ...... are you making or breaking. It only takes 21 days to make or break a habit. What are you doing?" (Or something like that anyway).

So, I got me thinking that I really want to commit to yoga. I used to be very good at my practice, and actually quite good at yoga :: it is one of those things that does need dedication and you can't fake it. Over the past possibly four years (since being pregnant and having kids basically), I've not had as much time, motivation, dedication as I would like. So now that I can drive myself there (did I not mention that I finally got my licence a fortnight ago. Yes, I'm 29 and on my provisional licence. But the real point is that now I can drive!), I'm hoping I can stick to being more dedicated to it. Let's see how I go over the next month.....

Onto more fun matters :: Yesterday we met Momo and her beautiful family at the markets. We had said hello to each other the week before, but not had time to stay and chat. So yesterday it was really lovely to sit down with Momo and her husband, and their sweet adorable little boy. So great to meet people and have things to talk about, and things in common. Our boys are so close in age, it would be wonderful for them to get to know each other, possibly become friends. I can only say that my kid didn't start off too well, with his rough ways! He did used to be so sweet and soft, and quiet - and often he still is, just lately he's sort of turned into a bit of a crazy, loud kid... hmmmm hope both sides of him find an equilibrium soon.

Momo was definitely the most stylish woman at the market, in her subtle way, with that lovely floppy hat and her great sense of fashion. Oliver, too, was so beautifully dressed - as he often seems to be by looking at his photos.

I do so want to try and see if we can become more friends than just acquaintances.

Kitchen rainbows. I'm really loving watching the sunlight move across our new stainless steel appliances, making rainbows and sparkles across the room.

Life has been so hectic as of late. The kitchen renovation continues. Sam has spent the last four days prepping and painting the walls. Unfortunately the red that we choose for our walls, when we were at the paint shop, isn't quite the same one that is now on our walls. It seems they mixed the colour a little bit wrong. And the ochre-ish reddish we had anticipated is now more vermilion. And then, of course, the trim colour doesn't match. We are waiting until the morning to see the trim dried, but I think they won't work together. And, also, totally detract from the amazing bench top...... So, that's bit disappointing. I'll call the paint shop in the morning, hoping they can at least give us some more trim colour - as I think maybe we can live with the red walls. Bright as they are!

Here's just a few pics of the kids from the past few weeks. Kids are changing all over again. Mish not crawling yet, but doing a lot of the practice movements of rocking on her hands and knees. Soon, soon, or maybe she'll just hop up and walk! She grows more beautiful each day, her smiles and laughs more clear, directed to you so lovely. She loves Ari so much, they have wonderful giggle sessions together. I can see that they will be such a cheeky team.

And Ari is getting to be more of an adult, grown up in his speech and language, his mannerisms, his way of interacting with the world. Quite a worldly boy, so sure of himself. He knows that he is so truly loved and adored.

Sparkling hair + shinning freshly made 'moon-melon juice'.

On the other hand - he is turning more cheeky all the time. A lot of "If I want to I can" - well, no you can't if I say you can't. (As in "I can have a biscuit now if I want to"). He gets quite over-excited sometimes, and goes into overdrive. Also, he has sometimes to say all the time - yes, all the time. This is really so wonderful, interesting, he observes so much and understands so much. A lot of things he sees and hears I never even notice. Sometimes the talking talking talking.... well, there's not a lot of silence around here mostly. Yet really, I wouldn't have it any other way, would I?

We discovered, last week, that Brisbane does in fact have a beach. Luckily is was high tide, and not the mud flats when we arrived. Watching the tide turn out, Ari was asking why was the the water draining out. We can't wait to get back here and have another lovely day.

the swing of things

Lately life has been very draining - physically. Emotionally, it has been rewarding, fulfilling, exciting. So, I suppose the see-saw scales is okay - as long as we keep a fairly steady balance somewhere.

I do, though, feel some nights, as if I have been drained of everything. I cannot drag myself to clean or wash or sew or think or write. I cannot sometimes drag myself even to bed. Yet, still I have energy from the love and laughs of the day. I mentioned to my mother-in-law today that Mishi doesn't sleep for longer than half an hour at a time, during the day :: she asked me how I do it. Hmmmm. I'm not actually sure how. But, you know cause you do it too. Just keep on doing it.

Well, I do it because of the simple and unexpected kisses that Ari gives me during the day. He just leans over and puckers up for a little kiss. His soft lips on mine - yes, sometimes his lips are stick and covered in food - but does that matter. Never, ever, ever. I love that he has that moment of love welling up inside him and just listens and lets it take over, and that he acts on it.

He used to ask us why we were smiling at him - when we said cause we loved him, he didn't quite understand in a way to actualise that love. Now he does. And even though he doesn't want to give Mishi kisses goodnight, I see the love he has for her numerous times throughout the day.

Both the little ones seem to be coming to phases of extreme change and growth. Mishi, now 7 months is not yet crawling, but is involving and entertaining and showing more and more of her own personality every day. Possibly she won't crawl, but seems to want to go straight to walking. And Ari, who will be 3 in only 6 or so weeks, gives us a new word every day, a new dance or phrase or look or ........ He discovers and observes and anticipates and understands.

Such a true pleasure for me to share my days with these little marvels. The love, tenderness, sweetness of my life because of those two beings.

Lately we have been going out almost every day. Did I mention that I finally have my licence? Well, yes, now I can drive where ever and whenever. So, we have been doing things and finding places and visiting and exploring.

Just a few photos of our days over the past few weeks.

I feel :: hope finally to catch up, feel more on top of things sometime soon. The kitchen is currently being painted, sanding only just been finished. Soon, we will get back into the swing of things (well, the swing of something anyway :: or the see-saw :: the slide :: the ........)

flamingo crash'

Check out our boys on this film clip, by a local Brisbane band. One day when we were at a festival (refugee day), we were asked if the boys wanted to be part of filming for the new clip for the band Flamingo Crash. We had never heard of the band (and the music wasn't quite what we normally listen to), but they seemed nice, young, local... plus - well any excuse to have fun and (try to) make our kids famous!!

Ari is the kid twirling round and round with the balloon, and then you can see Ash + Ari dancing (jumping) nearer to the end of the clip (timer 2.28). Ash with long pants and stripey t-shirt (timer at 2.22), Ari with shorts and long bluey shirt. There are also a few shots of Ash drawing - that curly snail is his!
So, a few moments of fame for our boys.

new blooms

Well, Spring is here already. The jasmine flowers are spilling over fences and filling the air with their intoxicating and heady aroma. These flowers always make me think of our wedding - we wore the blossoms in our hair, and wove them around the basket handles that our flower girl carried. That was more than three years ago now - so I really love the little triggers to my memory of seeing the pink buds burst open into those pungent fragile white blooms.

This little red soapstone canister was a gift from my loved one - Sam - for our anniversary. It has a lovely dragonfly on the other side. I like the space/home it's already found to live. Maybe only temporary at the moment, as our decorating flows and changes and evolves.

The lovely blond bench is our new kitchen bench. It's ply wood - first quality (I think. I wasn't there to do the shopping. My Dad + Sam did that, and got stuck for hours in a fire drill while at it!). Behind is the not yet painted old old wall - some very interesting views of that over here! The kitchen is very simple - exactly the way we want it. Yet, while simple, the attention to detail adds so many other facets of depth and warmth.

My Dad is a wonderful builder, a craftsman. He built our family home, where I grew up - and my Dad now lives on his own. I have so many memories of hearing the hammer bang, the saw cutting its teeth through second-hand, pre-loved timber. The house was always - still is - evolving. A constant in our growing up, of my Mum + Dad adding new rooms, buildings, extensions. Yet, always, always, in a simple way. Minimal walls, lots of windows and open doors to be outside as much as we were inside. This still is my home, my heart-home.

Our new kitchen, in my adult home, is still in process. Currently we are again at my in-laws' for a few days, while my Dad does the finishing bits. We have been living in the kitchen for the past week and a half - and I LOVE it so much. Not only because the previous one was so old, and dirty and.... hated. But because this one is so open, simple, big benches, lovely finishes. And because my Dad built it for us.

Both Sam + I knew that we didn't need to be really specific about exactly what we wanted. We talked with my Dad, yet knew that he would do what was the best thing. He has such an eye, a talent, a mind for creating beautiful pieces of art. His attention to detail is just perfect. We are lucky to have such a talented artistic craftsman.

At present I have no photos of the kitchen in building mode. When I am back at my own computer, and camera cables and such, then I will show the process of the kitchen building. And also, hopefully, hopefully - a finished product. Though of course we still haven't chosen a paint colour. We are waiting to see what hues the timber will turn out to be. The blond ply bench top is edged in a lovely red timber, the bench uprights (the whole frame) is a rich red, with the shelves the same ply. There are to be no cabinet doors, just open shelves - I hate opening and closing doors! And no overhead cupboards, only a few shelves up on the wall. Simple simple. Yet rich with love, thought, depth, memories. (Dad just told me to today that one of the pieces of wood he is using, was once used by my Mum, for her pottery work. We will need to paint it, but I so love love love the thought/memory of that piece under my oven having been something that my Mum layed her own pieces of work/art/ceramics on).

Our family will grow around and within this kitchen :: made by my Dad's hands + heart :: with pieces from my Mum :: I will remember this everyday when I cook, eat, live in this little room - on my own and with my family. Laughing, cooking, eating, drinking, talking, growing, learning, exploring.........

welcoming Spring with cousins

The heady, intoxicating perfume of jasmine flowers always reminds me of our wedding. Not just the day itself, but the preparation. And, of course, of Spring.

We picked these blooms while out playing with our lovely cousins (my sisters + their little ones). After a lovely treat at the bakery, we ran around the corner to a little swing set we know of, and spotted a whole fence billowing over with jasmine.

For the last few mornings when I walk into our (new, but not quite finished) kitchen, I've been met with the punjunt aroma of those little pink + white blooms. They don't last for a long time, and most of the buds don't open - once picked - but while they do last, they are enjoyed and loved.

We had jasmine for our wedding - in our hair, and wrapped around the handles of the basket our flower girl carried. We had picked the blossoms the day before, from a garden up the road from our house. Whenever we walk past the garden, and I see the tight pink buds forming and then bursting - I remember those days more than three years ago (28th August, 2004). Our main flowers we oriental lillies, with rose petals for sprinkling / throwing. But I loved having the jasmine in our flowing hair.

It's actually lovely for me to have these little personal memories of that day. It was such a magical, special, beautiful day.

This post was finally published 7th January, 2008. Maybe one day I will write more about our wedding day - for my children to have a momento (especially considering we still still haven't made our photo album!).