snippitysnippitysnip

Enough of our little boy being called a girl :: not that it was really so much of an issue for me. It does mean we can't dress him up like this anymore! I'm getting used to it slowly, slowly. He doesn't quite look like someone I know. When he talks to me in Ari's voice, I've been wondering who is this boy in my house, this boy holding my hand, this boy who is talking, laughing, smiling like my boy. So, I guess I'm getting to know him differently, anew, fresh. That's always a good thing for such an everyday intense relationship between mother and child.

Anyway, he seems to really like it. He says it's good. So, that's it then. The baby hair is gone :: does that mean my baby is gone? Oh, I hope not. We're going to find out!

Ari's hair was so fine and soft and curly and wispy and long, fluttering and flopping in his eyes, mouth, food.... Running my hands through it, combing it with my fingers. Seeing that messy mop every morning sticking up all over the place. Now it's velvety, dries in moments.... short short short!

tagging

Well, here I was feeling all lonely and unloved. The only people who seem to want to know anything about me lately are telemarketers*! Not anymore. Thank you djbebe, for tagging me. I've wanted to be tagged by someone, just so I knew people were reading. I suppose for the ego boost thing - that I seem to need. Well, now I have to think of what to write.

The rules:

1. Link to your tagger and also post these rules on your blog.

2. Share 7 facts about yourself (random or weird) on your blog.

3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.

4. Let them know they are TAGGED by leaving a comment on their blog.

So, here goes. Seven things about me.

1. I over-think too much. Especially when forming new friendships with people. I want for things to work out, and often they do eventually, but in the process I go through so much anxiety about it. I wish I could learn to let things flow more, and just happen.

2. I plan and dream so much more than I would ever do. I possibly could do the things that flutter about in my brain. It's just that I'm mostly too lazy, or tired, or some other excuse (mostly involving the kids).

3. I like to 'blame' my children for not getting things done. ie - if I don't do the washing up during the day, it's because one or the other of them wouldn't let me! Not because they are now both asleep in the afternoon, and I need some quiet time to 'reflect' - let's call it that :: this blog-browsing thing.

4. I like to make up words. In my family we have silly words, or silly ways of saying words. Like our own secret language. I love to hear my kids starting their own silly words, and even though 'experts' say you shouldn't copy when kids don't say words correctly, I do!

5. You've probably already realised this one, if you've been reading for a while. But, I tend to be quite wordy about everything. Those competitions where you have to answer in 25 words or less annoy me. My essays at school went on and on and on. I don't think I often really have anything important to say, it just takes a while for my brain to sort it all out.

6. I love being a mother. I always knew that I would have children. Currently two, but I'd love to have more - though Sam doesn't agree! I know that having such an emotionally fulfilling relationship with my own mother is a big factor to enjoying being a mother now. I wish she was here for me to share it with.

7. I was reading in the current Real Living magazine about how to decide on those three words to define yourself. (You know, when asked to sum up who you are in three words, another of those stupid questions that annoys me. Thank fully, I've never been asked). Well, I only came up with two words. Nurturing, Artistic, ........... (Just so you know :: the first word should be 'all about you', the second word 'something you aspire to be', and the third word 'sums up why people like to be around you'.) I often don't know why people like to be around me. Sam tells me I can be very mean sometimes - yet he still likes to be around me.

There, is that random enough for you? I actually could keep going, now that I've started. But I won't bore you.

I am going to tag ::
Momo - kurashi
Tonya - mommy who?
Sarah - lamzey dievey
Sarah J -still life in yarn
Felicia - fluffy flowers
Sarah - red felt flower
Stefani - blue yonder.

Okay, hope you feel like playing along. If too busy - that's understandable.

*While writing this post, two telemarketers rang me, one of them rang twice. And they were from the same company. And I couldn't understand a word they were saying - not sure about any of you, but our telemarketers seem to be from a very far way away :: bad, crackly connections and strange accents. I try to be polite :: often times I put Ari on for a chat!

PS - I promise that I was just about to go and do the washing up, but Mishi just woke up. And she doesn't want to be put down. What am I to do?

if you live in brisbane :: or if not

I was really exicted when I received an email from a friend this week, about a little market happening this weekend. Not just to sort out a few Plan B ideas, but mainly to treat myself (or maybe just my eyes...) to a few presents of my own. All local artists selling :: showing off their beautiful wares. So, in keeping with buying handmade, I will be there.

Christmas Design Market :: this Sunday 25th November :: 9am - 5pm :: GOMA gallery store forecourt ::

:: Blossom Creations :: not just a great designer, Erin is environmentally conscious in all aspects of her work and production. I really respect and admire any artists for this, more so when they strive to make it a primary aspect of their business. (I met her this week, it was lovely to put a face to her blog and beautiful creations).

:: Shannon Garson :: I have coveted her amazing, intricate, delicate porcelian since I somehow happened across her blog ages ago. I am taking pocket money to spend here (I hope!).

Plus many more beautiful, talented, artist, crafty.

If you don't live in Brisbane, please visit my other local (as in, I'm there every day!) hang-outs. I've already spent my pocket (bag :: Servo paycheck) money out in the Blue Yonder. Beautiful pieces of art with stories that make sense to my life.

All of this talent - local :: global - makes me long to have more time, energy, etc, etc, etc to be focussing more on doing something of my own. Yet, I know that my baby time now is so short, and things will slip into place eventually.

afternoon

1. Bookshelf :: with roses from our garden + found bottles + baby doll + my fold-out artwork from year nine art class. 2. Bookshelf :: glass plate - our wedding present from artist + a little box sculpture thing I made about a year or so ago + a special candlestick holder my mum made. 3. Little face masks Ari made today while at The Corner. 4. Afternoon view from our front steps.

beach

We have just spent a lovely long weekend at my Grandmas house, down the coast near the beach. You can't walk to the beach from her house, a very short drive, but she lives at the top of a big hill, so the view is magnificent. I've loved just looking out at the sparkling blue, with little patches of white boat or water breaking on far-out rocks. We went swimming almost each morning and afternoon. Well, swimming as best can with one adult and two little kids (who can't swim, one who can't even stand up!). The water was cold, refreshing, energising, enlivening, laughing. It was wonderful to watch both my little ones enjoying the water, sand, shells, rocks, fish caught in the tidepools. Ari carried handfuls of sand from one place, almost like there was none where he was taking it! Mishi crawling through the water, slapping it and laughing.

This post was finally published 7th January 2008. Since this beach trip we have made it to Noosa once for a holiday with some friends, and haven't actually made it to my Grandma's for more visiting and swimming. Soon the Summer will slip away and the kids will grow and I will have this little regret that I didn't take them enough times to the beach. The ocean that my Mother loved so tremendously - she used to squeal and cry out, she would drink the salty water, and jump and dive through the waves.

making a list :: checking it twice

Sorry to be a bit cliched with the heading. I don't normally like doing that sort of thing myself, but......this really is a Christmas List that I'm making.

I am back now from a long weekend visiting my Grandma, who lives at the beach. Looking from her veranda out towards the sparkling ocean, thoughts :: ideas :: inspirations :: wants :: longings :: feelings and hopes rattled about in my mind. Some of them formed into expectations and real hopes, aspirations. I have an almost tangible feel in my hands, my mind, my eyes that I can achieve everything I'm about to put on this list. Right now I feel so optimistic that I'm going to succeed in being able to complete and cross off this list. I feel that I will not need Plan B - but I'm going to write it anyway!

Long before I joined the Handmade Pledge, I have tried to be handmade, or less plastic and 'stuff, stuff, stuff'. Of course, that really hasn't been so successful over the years with new babies - the exciting first for Sam's family. Last year I did make the gifts we gave to my niece and nephews. This year, I :: intend :: on making all the gifts we give out. And if I can't get them made myself I would very much like them to be locally made, or at the very least ethically made. That one I know can be a definite back-up plan.

So, here goes :: (associated family members - please STOP reading NOW).

For all the kids (Ari, Mishi, Ash, Sidi, Rollie + Tal) ::

I plan on making quilts, or blanket things. This one a definite inspiration (actually everything Amanda does is!) - it looks to be a tiny bit simpler than a real patchwork quilt, which I have practically no experience with. More inspiration here, here, here (better stop linking, start planning, cutting, sewing!).

We don't give adult gifts on my side of the family, but we do with Sam's family. So for Sam's parents and his brother + girlfriend I aim on making placemats, hot pots, possibly matching serviettes too (all inspired from Bend the Rules). There's so much inspiration for these all around.

I would like to make something for my Grandma, though really don't know if that will happen or not. She would love a quilt, but I think aiming for some placemats or a little carry pouch for her magnifying glass (she has a degenerative eye cancer, and has quite bad vision) would be more achievable.

There are a few international friends who I really want to get something posted off to. Some bags and aprons for children, totes for the mamas. That sort of thing. There are at least two families (total five children), who would be most important for me to post something to.

Additionally, I have signed up for this Holiday Tradition Exchange. I have been partnered up with Tonya, and I really want to have/make the time to have a special swap for her. This is the first blogging swap for me, and I'm really excited. This year will be the first we have a Christmas tree at our house - previously children not old enough, and we visited family for Christmas. So, I feel this is the perfect time for starting some traditions in my family, learning about other traditions, making new friends. The ideas for this are forming, I just need to get the headspace to get it settled into a proper plan.

As well as all these ambitious gifts, I would like Ari to make some things to give friends and family. Books (which I have had in my head for ages now), paintings, drawings, some form of 'craft'.

The main back-up plan I feel I need is for the children's quilts. These I feel, sort of almost know, that possibly I won't be able to finish all of them. I would so love to, but I know myself and my life at the moment. I think I will need to call in a lot of child-minding to make the time. So, here's one back-up plan I spotted and love. I hope Stefani doesn't mind me copying. And this little pocket roll-up, which I have seen around a bit. These are cute, too. If anyone has any other ideas :: inspiration for children's gifts (aged from 9months up to 8 years), I would love any suggestions.

wisdom of a three year old

The other day I overhead Ari talking to himself. He wasn't talking on the (pretend) phone, as he often does - conducting a great conversation through a wooden banana or one of our old mobile phones. (With the batteries taken out, they are an accessory that Ari enjoys!).

No, he was talking to himself - or possibly to one of the people he keeps telling me are in the room with us (or building our house, wearing pink clothes).

"Dear Ari, Accept (or was it except?) that you'll be older. When you're three. Mummy, I'm three aren't I?". I don't know what he was thinking or talking about. Really, mostly his mind wonders and scrambles so much quicker than mine, and his mouth manages to keep up! Anyone with a young child, who can string a few words together will know what I mean. This little boy who used to be so quiet as a baby and small toddler - well, he fills our world with noise. With words, stories, questions, questions, questions. He rattles off songs we've listened to, stories we've read, conversations he's overheard. Just yesterday he copied every single word I said while on the phone to someone, having to pay a bill (or pay off a layby!!), so I was telling them my credit card number.

Every moment I look at him, listen to him, spend time with him - he is growing and growing. Right now - despite the tantrums and whinging (which really isn't too bad anymore) - he is a very thoughtful, caring boy. Today, while we were waiting for new tyres on our car we went to a cafe. Whenever my glass of juice was empty he topped it up again for me, without spilling a drop. He kept offering me bites of his biscuit. This afternoon he wanted to put Mishi to sleep, telling her a story and patting her on the back. The lady at yoga-care said he had such lovely manners, and was nice to be with :: Well, I agree.

I especially love when he comes over to me, just while doing his things, leans against me and gives me a kiss. Sometimes on my leg or my shoulder, sometimes on my mouth. And he says "I love you in the whole world".

Thanks Ari for brightening up my days, for making me think about things differently, or again and again, for expecting me to be a wonderful Mother. For loving me for who I am. I love you in the whole world Baba. xx

finished! :: gifting

Sewing lately has been a bit too few and far between. Moments of no kids seem to be times of tiredness and guilt at not cleaning the house. I keep getting more fabric, so really must start using it. Just wanted to show a few of the projects that have been finished lately :: so I feel like I'm achieving something! And a little peek of my delicious, make-me-feel-happy swing tag that Sam designed for me. I'll have to get you a real image soon.

Apron + little tote for my Niece's birthday. Apron is made from a beautiful old dress, and some fairy fabric (maybe AH fabric?) I've had in my stash. Tote is great thick purple cotton, also from my stash and Alexander Henry 'Birdseed' in pink (which I love love love, and want to use on so many projects).

Apron + Head band, both kids versions from Bend the Rules (yes, again!). I've sewn the apron twice now, and I know next time it will be almost perfect. Also Alexander Henry 'Birdseed', in yellow with purple backing and pocket trimming. Ari choose the colours - and I love the combination. And that little head band - oooh, I am so going to be making a heap more of them in all different sizes and colours for all different people. It took me about ten minutes all up to sew, with Ari hanging off my arm. I'm going to make some with elastic for Mish as well :: will be too hard tying a ribbon on her head! They're for a little friend of his who turned three. She's a red-head, so I think the orange/yellow head band will really work well.

Kids Discovery Messenger Tote - Jumping Fish. For my nephew, whose birthday was a little while ago! I made the pattern myself :: I really like the stitching on the strap, and have been working on a few more bags with similar straps. The book is a great second-hand find :: an Indian myth / memory story written by a really excellent Indian cook-book author. This is the same fabric as my skirt :: my aunt found it second hand (she's a Queen at op-shopping), and gave it to me!

On the actual selling of my bags :: well, two have sold at the shop. Which, yes, is exciting - but I did have hopes of them all selling out - okay, not all, but a couple more than a few. Anyway, I'm taking it slowly, easing into this thing of wanting to sew and do and make and produce :: and maybe then sell.

4.15 :: 6.15

Saturday 4.15pm. West End. Waiting for baklava.

Accompanied by :: three kids in the back of the car, finally silenced by Bear + Chook stories.
Preceded by :: a tasty + entertaining picnic at a riverside park, with close family.
Followed by :: a relaxing cup of tea + baklava and Turkish delight, with same family.

Sunday 6.15pm. Home. Waiting for dinner (take-away).

Accompanied by :: few moments of silence and own time, at home. Kids in bed early after big play-day. Sam out getting the Indian take-away.

Preceded by :: a great, noisy, hectic, talkative impromptu afternoon with Sylve + Ash. And a morning at a little party for a 3-yr old friend.

Followed by :: quiet dinner with Sam. Kids were still in bed!

making me happy

There is so much rushing through my mind at the moment. So many possibilities :: thoughts :: ideas :: hopes :: wishes :: aspirations ::

Two of my bags have sold, and the shop has only been open for five days. When I first found out, I tingled all over. The first thing ever to have sold that I made - as an adult. We used to make things to sell at our school fairs when we were kids.

I want to use this very tiny beginning as a big push :: shove to start something real. The immeadiate thing of needing to work, so working from home is so much more appealing and tempting to me. It's easier, in a sense; I don't have to think about having my little ones in care for that fact. (I do want Ari to start kindy or something soon, but for his sake, not for mine). I also don't want to have to think about going to look for work, or go back to where I was before. While I did love the aspect of being out as myself and not a mother, I know that being a mother is the biggest part of who I am. And sometimes having to get out of the house and be ready and presentable on time for work :: well that can be a major stress. Basically my priorities have changed. That, and the fact that I don't want to be working for someone else for my life. I have always wanted my own business, of something. Well, now is a chance, an opportunity for me to start something.

And my whole family is supporting me, and excited with me. And that makes me happy.

Now :: just need to find the time. Last night was planned as a sewing night - I fell asleep while putting the kids to bed at 7.30pm. Hmmmmmm. Have to plan this a bit better, maybe?

Other happiness ::

Ari is more and more wanting to cuddle and kiss Mishi. He is being so much more loving to her, thinking and caring about her more. Slowly, slowly this has the possibility of making things a little bit easier.

Edited 7 Jan 2008. This is another of those half concocted pages of babble. I am trying to go through and put it all into my blog - it's all snippets of my mind at times during these fleeting moments of youth for my babies. I want to have whatever words I have managed to get out of my brain for my memories - maybe their memories.