home again, home again, jiggity jig

We've been staying at Sam's parents' house for the past week. Well, actually - we've been back home now for three nights. But, anyway, lets not be too exact and pedantic.

My Dad is building us a new kitchen. So, so, so exciting and wonderful and lovely and... so overdue. I will post photos when it's finished. We're allowed back home now, as we have running water and gas back again. (After the plumber was two hours late on Friday, worked for half an hour, and had to come back Monday to actually do any work. And then, charge us more than $600 for the privilege).

Being away made me realise that I love my little home so much. As a house it's not really that much. No pretty Queenslander for us, no verandas or patios or great outdoor spaces to be in, no well maintained garden (just a muddy hilly patch of "stuff" with a bit of plant life, that goes through stages of being loved and then neglected). No separate lounge, dining, guest room, nursery, play room, art/craft/discovery room for us. Just a small two bedroom, (possibly -I'm making this up, with absolute assurity that I know this to be the truth) post-50's style boxy house. But, it's my home - and I've remembered that I really do love it.

I love whats in it. My things, and our things, and the feeling of being in. The peace, the tranquility (now I'm actually stretching the truth. As I live across the road from a train-line, next door to some very noisy people, and in a house with two small people - who can make more noise than the sum of their sizes). Our home is almost always messy, or at least a neat shambles, dusty, cluttered. But, our things mean something to me. Our things are us.

Sam and I have a particular "decorating style" that just evolves and happens. Often, from adding, adding, adding and occasionally removing, but more like putting somewhere else. All the dead/dying plant life and seedpods that Ari and I have been collecting over the past weeks are spilling from vases and scattered in plates and dishes on bookshelves and windowsills. Photos are tacked to walls or leaning on shelves. "Things" - of which we have MANY - are arranged and displayed.

And while I am so very grateful to my parents-in-law for being wonderful, generous grandparents and parents - I am so glad to be back home.

Being back home means sleeping in one's own bed. Even if that bed is shared with the three dear loves of my life. But, I so love listening to my babes sleeping. I love feeling their warm bodies and hearing their soft snores. Almost touching their dreams - though, I know, I know - never can I touch the dreams of a child. For childrens' dreams are magical in a way we forget and rarely regain in adulthood.

Reasons I love listening to them sleep:

not most importantly, but firstly, the fact that they are actually asleep and I have a small moments' peace and quiet;

they are so soft, quiet, innocent in ways different than during the day;

I can sometimes see the person who they may grow up to be. I (imagine that I) see the face of what in the world they might be (lyrics from something that I can't quite remember at the moment... hmmm? Joni Mitchell?);

the sweet, warm breath of a sleeping child;

..... many more reasons, that right now seem to be slipping away from forming into words.

One thing about sleeping children - babies need nappy changes and topping up with breastmilk, toddlers need wees and hugs to fend of bad dreams.

So, no photos or links tonight. Simply a few words. As my two little ones are good at playing tag - with me chasing them constantly. They play in their sleep as effortlessly as in the day :: Mishi milking, Ari waking bolt upright and wanting to be "out of the bed", then laying down fast asleep again.

Good night. Good to be home again.

PS - in case anyone was at all curious or slightly worried :: Bunny came home. The lovely bus driver lady sent him to lost property where he got an excellent little luggage tag and overnight stay in the city. Unfortunately he didn't have a bath while on holiday!

Lost, Stolen or Strayed

King John put up a notice,"LOST or STOLEN or STRAYED! JAMES JAMES MORRISON'S MOTHER SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN MISLAID. LAST SEEN WANDERING VAGUELY:QUITE OF HER OWN ACCORD, SHE TRIED TO GET DOWN TO THE END OF THE TOWN -FORTY SHILLINGS REWARD!" James James Morrison Morrison Weatherby George DuPree

Bunny is missing! Yesterday when we got off the bus in the pouring rain, somehow Bunny didn't come with us. I'm hoping and hoping that he's going to be in the lost property collection.

I haven't told Ari yet, though he has been asking and asking for Bunny. We just keep putting him off. I feel so anxious, my tummy turned into knots. This is my little boy's special friend. He sleeps with him, eats dinner together, plays hide-n-seek, keeps him company when Ari is tired or grumpy or sad.

When Bunny first came into our lives, when Ari was only a few months old, I wasn't too fussed either way on this funny little blanket with a bunny head stitched in the centre of it. But, Ari became attached and has carried Bunny everywhere with him since. The little creature has suckled ears and paws, his head fell off at one stage, his ears are threadbare, he's grey rather than white. But, he's loved, so so loved. And he really is a part of Ari's daily life.

Ari always talks about him not being real, but he includes him into the rituals that he's learning. Bunny learnt to toilet train, Bunny has breast milk (mine or Ari's, he's not fussy), he has day-time naps, eats veges + fruit, gets in trouble for doing cheeky things. Lately Ari has been blaming Bunny for a few things - using his little paws to do the dirty work.

I love Bunny. I love the way Ari loves him. I have fed, bathed, clothed this creature (yes, nappies on the blanket body are difficult - but we still tried).

I remember him being on the bus seat curled in Ari's hand. Ari asleep on the seat beside me, Mishi asleep in the sling. Raining raining. The bus driver carried Ari off the bus for me and put him the the pram. I don't remember seeing or not seeing Bunny in Ari's sleeping hand. I was too concerned with covering two sleepy creatures before the rain soaked us all. Isn't is sometimes so annoying (sometimes it is wonderful), the way you see things and just file them away somewhere in your brain. At the time you don't think too much about it, but later its clear and so important. You remember it perfectly - like you remember Bunny not coming off the bus!

Sam and his Dad went out at 9pm last night in the rain searching between the bus stop and the front door. Again this morning Sam rode his bike looking in the drains, curbs - did Bunny wash down the gushing gutters to the ocean.....

Lost, Stolen or Strayed..... Please come home Bunny.

If Bunny is actually lost, please tell me - help me - what will I do to console my little one? Does anyone have any ideas, hints, thoughts on what would be the best thing to do, the best way to break the news. Should I let him choose another baby to have, or make him another something (similar), or should we have a little farewell party (a funeral?) for Bunny. And say, well Ari's almost three and doesn't need a little friend. I don't think I want to do this, I always wanted to let him be ready to give up Bunny - and if he never did, then that is not an issue for me at all.

rain

We're staying at my in-laws for a week, due to our kitchen being renovated. The rain is keeping us inside all day. Not even able to play in the backyard. Yesterday we got ready, left the house and got half way down the street, when it started to sprinkle. Raincoats and pram covers on. When the rain got heavier, much heavier, we realised we would have to turn back. So, a day at the library and cap-of-machinos after, we ruined. We managed to entertain ourselves, passing the time by colouring in printed pages, and having quick jumps on the trampoline during brief interludes in the wind and rain.

The weather tricked us in the afternoon, when the Sun came out for a mere five minutes, the sky had blue patches and the grey clouds were blowing away. Quickly we got ready - which is never quite as quick as anticipated with a baby and three-year old. A lovely walk down the big hill, then afternoon tea at a lovely cafe/bookshop. Walking home - up that hill - was so wonderful due to the rain that fell onto our faces. Ari was covered in the pram - where he fell asleep at 5pm and slept all night 'til 5am (he got Sam out of bed, not me). Mishi was snuggly wrapped in the sling and covered by the froggy raincoat where she also slept. Sam + I got pleasantly soaked!

This post was finally published 7th January, 2008. Hmmm, still parts of our kitchen aren't quite finished. Those final little bits that are needed for a dramatic conclusion.

having a long blink*

It just happened - that I've been "absent" for a week now. Okay - absent from this blog. I think I've somehow been absent from a lot of things over a lot of years. But, over the past week I've been a lot more present in the everyday of our life. Apart from feeling flu-ish (so therefore tired, unmotivated, lacklustre), I've been spending more time just doing and being with the little ones. I suppose more time living my life, less time writing about it, or reading about others' (apart from my daily update to reality here!).

Mishi had her official six-month day. It passed pretty uneventfully. IE - she didn't learn to crawl, sit, read French or run a marathon. As the days are drifting closer and closer to her not being a baby anymore, I keep thinking I'm not doing quite enough - not the things that I should be doing. She's not eating yet. Though, depending on who you talk to, that's not really any issue at all. All the other babies in our family were eating younger than six months, but the few times I've offered her a little taste of fruit, she's just turned her nose away. So, no rush for that. All it really means is stinkier nappies!

Mishi's first proper swing-sit. She loved it.

And, Ari moves closer and closer to three. Some days I feel like he's the baby; growing and learning that life isn't all about you, that while your parents do dote on you, they also have certain expectations of you! Other days I look at him, and can not remember the baby that he was. Every day he says something new, his speech patterns are changing, his understanding of things increasing.Just a few photos of our past week. More can be found here. (If you are not a 'friend contact' on my flickr account, and you wish to view my family life, then please request to be added as a contact).

A pair of pukeka** birds, building a nest. One (the male?) swam back and forth collecting twigs and things, the other one (the mama bird?) wove them into her nest.

*My sister used to say this when she was little. When asked if she was asleep, she'd say "no, I'm just having a long blink". Other times we'd pretend we were asleep, generally when we were driving home late at night, while driving up our big hill. Mum + Dad would carry us in to bed, and we wouldn't have to brush our teeth. Sometimes they didn't carry us in, waiting to see how long we would pretend. And the award goes to Sylve, who waited and waited and, if I recall correctly, she sat pretending sleep in the car for longer than an hour.

**In Australia these birds are called moorhens, but my Mum used to call them Pukeka as she lived in New Zealand for a while and liked that word more. She also used to call the child health nurses (who visit your house after having a baby) plunket nurses. Conversely, she used to call Kiwi fruits Chinese Gooseberries. I use all these words as well, simply because that's the way my Mum raised me.

looking at you kid

All photos taken by Ari, while on our daily outing.

I've been thinking more and more, lately, why kids have to grow up - well, more why we have to end up losing that part of being a child that teaches us to look more, and listen more, and not put our own emotions and perspective on everything. Children take everything at face value - and learn so much more by it.

Being with a young child is so wonderful, when I am really with him. He sees so much more than me when we're on our walks out and about. I think that I know everything about where we are, or I'm thinking about the next thing that will be happening. Whereas Ari is totally there.

I've started letting him take some photos of things he wants. Trying to teach him how to look at the camera and see if he likes what he sees before he takes the photo. This is teaching me not to be so selective about what I take photos of - of what I look at, and see, and notice. Things don't need to be so perfect or beautiful or sculptural to be "worthy" of being photographed.

how to :: tire out a boy

A beautiful day today. Glorious weather. Lovely morning at markets - almond croissants + fresh strawberries + coffee + sitting in the sun + conversation + watching Ari walking all around the field just because he wanted to. Waving to us from the other side.

Then quiet time for me! Mishi slept for hours :: Sam + Ari went for a walk :: I sat on the couch an read a magazine. I have not read any of my magazines for longer than 5 minutes as of late. It was wonderful. I did not wash up. I did not hang nappies on the line. I did not clean, tidy, sew, imputer. I did not feel guilty about not doing any of these. I lazed on the couch and felt happy.

With the afternoons becoming longer (Winter is gone already), we went for a walk with the soccer ball to the local school. We did this last week with Ash, and everyone had heaps of fun. Again, it was exuberating + fun to run after the ball, throw it to Ari, kick it to Sam. This is a perfect way to tire out Ari before the evening routine of dinner, teeth brushing, stories, songs, bed.

He is learning to throw, catch, kick the ball really well. Chasing it everywhere, giggling crazily, not being too upset if we don't give him the ball every time, or if he doesn't catch it every time.

Arhhhh that childhood innocence of having your parents dote on you, not knowing that in a few short years if you can't catch (like your Mother), you'll be a bit embarrassed! Hopefully, they'll both inherit their father's general sportiness.

At least I'm not the only one. When others at high school were out on a Wednesday afternoon kicking, throwing, running, these are the sports I partook of :: yoga, photography (yes, that was offered as a sport at high school!), drama "sports". I did do tennis for a few terms, to indulge my Mum's fantasy of us being good at it, as she had been.*

When the afternoon shadows stretched across the grass we took home a tired, but happy boy.

*Strange note of how things all seem to fit together, in a small world type way :: Sam was very close to becoming a pro tennis player, as his parents dreamed of. He was very good at it, and could very well have been a great pro. If he hadn't discovered skateboarding. I would possibly never have met him, had he been a pro tennis player. That's how things happen. Though, if I had become a great tennis player, and he was too - then we could have met that way.... hmmmm...

mama drawing

My favourite :: A bird on a skateboard. Can you see that little skateboard, with wheels. Wow. I love it so much.

Ari's drawings over the last few days have been becoming more and more intricate. Suddenly he is putting pupils in eyes, his figures have arms + legs, things are really looking like what he says they are. I suppose all parents say :: feel this, but Ari seems to have quite a talent - when he puts his mind to it. Sometimes he just scribbles, and is silly - which is fine, though it normally happens when I'm asking his to make a card for someone (to show off his talents!).

And lately his drawings are predominately hot-air balloons or fireworks. So, to see him drawing more specific things - and not just one or two, but page after page after page - is so special.

Well, it's just the next step in him growing up. And being our oldest means that Sam + I are going through all that parent pride for the first time. Its like, you don't take real notice and remembrance of what other kids do at certain ages, so when your first kid does it, well it seems so important and as if no other kid has ever done that before. You've all done it - don't pretend you haven't. (I used to work in a mainly kids toy :: discovery shop, I know the parent / grandparent pride that can exist - some really full on).

Anyway, today Ari was drawing me. He hasn't done that before - not actually drawn a person and said this is Mummy. If it hadn't been so amazingly cute, and clever and special I may have been hurt at the portrait - but I suppose the thing is, it was quite an accurate portrait.

Mama portrait - complete with soggy bum. (I'm not sure if that's a tail or a fart coming out!)

Telling us about it - he showed off my hair, eyes, and then - my soggy bum! Take another look at that picture - that little bump down the bottom is my bum. We all had a wonderful giggle about that bottom. Ari gets quite giggly crazy sometimes - and can't stop. And then the long hair, standing on end - well I do have long hair, normally hanging limply down my back or tied up into a bun. Then he drew another picture of me, with spots all over - and hey, I do have spots most all over my body :: freckles.

I guess he has been getting a bit more curious about things, combined with being able to articulate what he wants to know into a question. The other day he asked me why my tummy was bumpy. Because of you two kids my darling. It's called fat. And a few days later he asked me what the spots on my arms were - I tried to think of something more than the usual that freckled kids are told :: "It's the sun's kisses".

I'm not sure what this is, but very cute anyway. Pegged up on the stripey green ribbon.

I've pinned some lovely ribbon up in the hallway and we've been pegging his drawings up. Like a very easily changed art gallery. Its at kid height, which means Ari can see it - but also I can see it from the couch. I think some more thick ribbons are needed, so we can have more hanging space along the whole hallway. It's also something I've just done in my new sewing corner, that is still slowly taking shape. I'll try and show photos tomorrow.

sticky situation

I'm really glad that Sam + I have a very similar sense of humour. We can laugh easily at each other, and very easily at other people - together.

THIS JUST IN:
We have been selling some stickers on eBay lately, and just received an email from someone asking "How does the sticker attach? Does it have a sticky part on the back?" Am I mean, or is this the most ridiculous question?

It's 12.30 at night (morning) - and that gave Sam + me a delightful giggle before we head off to bed. It's always lovely to go to bed with a smile on your face. (Especially when you'll be squashed in between two little bed-hoggers).

trying new tastes

Quinoa+Vege bake with Salad in my favourite bowl w' toasted sesame seeds +almonds.

Lately we've been so bored with the usual :: same-old dinners that we make. Never exactly the same, as we don't ever use a recipe - just general ideas, etc. If it was up to Ari, we'd have pasta every night. It's not up to Ari, thankfully.... Not that I always cook the same meals each night, just the same 'feeling' meals.

Every day - at about 3.30 or 4pm, I start to go through that dreaded thing of "what am I going to make for dinner, again?" I have to start cooking, or preparing at least, at about 4.30 in the afternoon. This gives me time to have lots of interruptions - taking Mishi to bed again, cuddling Ari, playing games, talking on the phone, having two kids::babies asking, asking, asking me for something else.....

I do think of myself as quite a good cook. My Mum was an excellent cook, my Dad is. I learn at a young age how to cook lots of different things. We were all always in the kitchen together, chopping, stirring, tasting, talking. As kids we all had to help, and had different nights where we made the whole dinner. I loved this - I still do love cooking. I just don't love the having to think every night of what to cook. I used to always make stirfry when I was a kid. I loved cutting the vegetables + tofu up into perfectly formed julienne sticks.

The great thing, also, was that my whole family had very similar likes, tastes. We just took on the tastes of our parents. My Dad used to make subji all the time. We would moan "not subji again!" Now - its the thing that Sylve + I want Dad to make whenever we visit him. And we both make it in our own houses for our families - who love it. Dhal as well is another that we all love. I know that I can make it, and actually have Ari + Sam happily eat a whole meal. Add papadums, and everyone's crunchily happy.

So, rather than feeding them pasta, stirfry or dhal every night, I've been on a search (mentally) to think of new and interesting - though not too adventurous for my fussy eaters - meals to make.

And hence, I finally bought some quinoa from the healthfood shop, and finally made it. I remember having it years ago when I was visiting a friend, in France. She made this delicious green vege, creamy quinoa bake. I've emailed her for the recipe - in the meantime :: tonight I made root vege quinoa bake. And, with a few tweaks I can feel that quinoa could be added to the reportoire.

It is such a pretty looking seed (grain), when raw as well as when cooked - with the little sprouts curling around the almost translucent grains.

Quinoa + Orange Root Vege Bake

This was quite yummy, though I think it would have been good with some green leafy something in it. It was simple and wholesome, with lots of scope for changes.

• 1 cup quinoa
• 1/4 medium Pumpkin
• 1 large sweet potato
• 2 medium carrots
• tin tomatoes or 2 large fresh tomatoes
• olive oil
• teaspoon each of cummin powder, tumeric, corriander powder
• 2 -3 cloves garlic finely chopped
• smallish hunk ginger finely grated - this is easiest with a bamboo ginger grater, available from Asain stores
• yoghurt, cheese, milk to add a bit of extra liquid
• salt + pepper.

Rinse quinoa well, using a fine seive. Cover with 2 1/2 cups water. Bring to boil, then simmer for about 15 mins, until all water gone. Leave to side with lid on. Should be cooked, tastes lovely now - can use in salads or as a substitute for rice, couscous, pasta. Take toddler to toilet. Sing to baby, so you have a few more minutes before having to leave half-cooked dinner.

Meanwhile, cut veges about 1/2cm cube. Dice garlic + grate ginger. Heat pan, then add oil and allow to warm a bit. Add spices + salt, then ginger + garlic. Fry lightly. Then add pumpkin, and cook for a few minutes, then sweet potato for another few minutes. Add carrots and stir through, cooking for a few more minutes with the lid on. Add tomatoes and pepper. If you think it needs a bit of liquid at this stage, add some water (or stock). The take baby back to bed for second time. When cooked add some yoghurt - I keep old yoghurt, milk + cheese in my fridge for cooking. Taste for seasoning.

In a large baking dish, spread quinoa along bottom, cover with veges + all the juice. Top with grated cheese - whatever you like. Bake about 30 minutes at approx 220 degrees Celcius. (My oven in broken, so I'm not exactly sure the temperature it is). Until the cheese is nicely golden.

Serve with salad or lightly steamed greens, plus toasted nuts.

PS - I by no means, consider myself to be a 'food blogger' like these two current favourites.

showing off

I'm so super-duper happy, and proud of these two little bags I've just posted off today. They have taken a little bit of time to actually get finished - what with all the baby::kid interruptions! I put thought into all the steps and took things slowly. I actually ironed the fabric before I started sewing, I pressed the seams in place. This is something I never do. I'm not an iron-er at all, I'll only iron my clothes if they desperately need it.

The stitches are straight. My sewing lines are straight. I normally rarely cut straight, which doesn't bode well for sewing straight. But I did this time, I did! I don't know all the technical terms for the stitches I did, but that doesn't matter. The finished products are neat, tidy, pretty....

Sam's even impressed with me. He's sort of showed them off too, and let me talk excitedly with him about how well they turned out. He's even rambled with me, and we've mulled over the possibility that I could maybe, just maybe sell some if I continue to make them as prettily / neatly.

I hope they are received happily. Made especially for the birthday's of my nephew's mum (my brother's ex) and her daughter (my nephew's half sister - who is turning one). I included this same book in the bag for her.

So, hopefully over the next bit of time I can refine the patterns I made + polish the sewing techniques to produce something that I could offer for sale. That really would be so wonderful. As, well, it would be excellent if I could try to contribute to our income while being able to spend the days with my little ones. So, what I'd like to do is make a few more, as practice and for the fun of it. If anyone out there reading this (I think there are a few, couple, one!!?? of you) likes the idea of having one of my practice bags, please comment as I'd love to give some away - possibly like the little "lingerie" purse.

small moments

A drawing of the ferris wheel we want to ride on

It's been a busy, long, fun, laughing, tired, sick, whingy week. I'll hopefully be back feeling on top of it all in the next few days. Ari has chicken pox and seems to have turned into ::the biggest whingy kid I have ever met:: (Ok, not really - but more than I've ever seen him before). At the same time Mishi has decided that she doesn't want to lie down, sit in her rocker, her high-chair, on the grass, on the rug - she just wants to be in my arms. Plus, she doesn't seem to want to sleep for longer than half an hour at a time.

::Am I being whingy now?::

In between all this we've had some marvellous, beautiful moments. After a particularly trying day, I went out for a peaceful, entertaining, adult dinner with two great friends. School friends, who are luckily still wonderful friends now. We took Mischa with us, she was on her best behaviour - cooed, smiled, drank milk, then slept! We had dinner, conversation, laughing, understanding, listening. Then we moved on to a little cafe and had tea and live music and more gentle, relaxing conversation. I don't think I've been out for dinner on my own (without Sam or Ari) in a very long time. It really is a necessary of life.

This weekend Ash was visiting with us, so Sam took the boys round the corner with their skateboards to do a bit of rolling. Ari is learning to stand on his own, and Ash is getting over his fear and doesn't lie on his tummy so much anymore! Mish and I went up after a while to watch them, and encourage. Then we kicked the ball around :: Something I don't do very often at all! All in all a beautiful, glorious day out with the boys. We vowed to do it again more regularly. Me too. Rather than sending Sam out with the boys (to give me quiet time), I really enjoyed myself too.

And then, on Sunday - Ari, Mishi and I spent a lovely few hours sitting and drawing, talking, sewing. (I'll show sewing photos soon. Have a few final touches to put on the presents that I'm making and need to post. But very happy with the results!).

There seems to be so much, and yet nothing, happening in my life. I have lots of plans happening in my mind. And a few, just a small few, I'm pushing into happening. Taking things little-by-little.

I've set up a little sewing table in the corner of Ari's play room. It's really his bedroom, but as he hasn't slept in there for months now, and I took his bed out ages ago, I finally thought about setting up a little corner for myself. I haven't had any time::energy to turn it into the inspirational, crafty corner I want to show. But, I have been using it in my few spare::quiet moments.

I'm really so super happy with the idea of having my own little spot in the house. My own corner, where I can tell the boys not to touch, and I can have my own ideas there. Living in a little two-bedroom house with four people (okay, two are young kids/babies), and a lot of stuff (read :: junk), means that none of us have our own actual space. Yes, yes. I decorate the house, luckily Sam + I have similar personalities + ideas + creative-thought processes.

So, hopefully I'll be able to continue doing a lot more sewing. Which I really love. Generally I'm quick, lazy, wanting immediate results, and I get bored with things easily (a true Gemini). But maybe, just maybe, having this little space where I don't always have to pack up every night - it might encourage and allow and force me to be more dedicated to creating.

::There'll be more catch-up tomorrow. This flu-thing has baffled the cohesion words in my brain::