trials & prototypes

Hmmm. Been busy. And tired. And... usual stuff.

This week just past I had a lovely day at home, on my own, for sewing. Finishing up some long long long overdue projects, that have been sitting on my sewing table for ages and in my head for longer.

I also sewed up a prototype of a bag that we are going to be selling at our upcoming market stall (more about that a bit later). I had a bag that I liked the look of, and tried to make something similar, but also my own style. I'm quite happy with the result. As a prototype it does have a few errors, but I know what I need to fix for the proper batch of bags.

Sort of like a market tote bag, with topstitching to make a piping on the edge. It's all one piece front to back, with a gusset on each side. I want to make it out of hemp or organic cotton; and still trying to find a local (well, Australia local) supplier. And we are going to screen print Sam's designs onto them.

I have another bag idea / shape in my head, just need to find a few spare hours to turn it into a proper form. Something similar - a simple market tote, but with a different shape. You'll see it next week.

The other things that were taking up head/desk space are the things I am making for the 100th Post Giveaway. Yes, I know that most of you have probably given up on me with this one. Seeing as how it was.... months ago. I think the main issue has been that I really wanted to make something totally special and unique for each and every one of you. So many ideas formed in my head, and I wrote and drew. Yet nothing seemed quite right. It has taken me this long to finally come up with what I am happy with.

1.

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3. (two of these).

Also, I told myself to stop procrastinating and get it made already! I knew (hope) that you'll like whatever I send you, based on the fact that it's been made with thought and care and attention and love. I'm going to let you choose which one you each like best, colour wise. There will be a few other little goodies as well.

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So, if any of you winners are still reading my blog - please comment on which little pouch/bag you like best. And hopefully everyone will be happy. (If you really like one that someone else has picked, let me know, as I can possibly make more. I have little bits extra of most fabrics). Excuse the terrible photos, I just wanted to get them done, and kid-free time is precious.

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And finally, thank you for all your patience - not one of you asked or hassled or prompted me. That makes me feel that you do respect me, and acknowledge that I am something doing a little more than I should be. Also, I have learnt :: no giveaways unless I have something to giveaway first!!!

10. (two of these).

kids in the kitchen

On Tuesday, when my Dad was visiting, he took Ari over to Sylve's house for dinner. This meant that Mishi and I had the afternoon at home together. This is quite rare, so was really lovely. Once your child starts talking, incessantly, you forget that quiet of the 'non-talkative' child. The talking to yourself aspect of spending time with a little one. While Mishi says words, and makes lots of noises, she doesn't yet conduct a conversation.

So, it was really lovely to do some baking together. And for me to have those moments of quiet head space. Of talking to Mishi, and to myself. Of having her tiny sounds to accompany my quiet words. Being able to think about what I'm cooking, to stop and enjoy the process a little bit more. Having one child do the mixing; rather than two children bickering over who stands on which stool and who uses which spoon.

We made some little biscuits. Some with our new cutters - some great carshapes. And some with Mishi's thumb print to form the balls into shapes. I sort of made the recipe up as we went on. No dairy, no eggs, no sugar. Delicious. The kids ate them happily, while we were walking through the Mt Cootha Botanical Gardens with my Dad the very next day. (That was a fun day, no photos - just enjoying looking at things, and really taking it in, and having time wandering through trees and plants with my Dad).

Sultana + Marmalade Cookies

1 cup Self Raising flour

1/2 cup Plain flour

1/3 cup vegetable oil

few handfuls of sultanas (that was Mishi's job - don't know how many went in!)

3 or so big spoonfuls of sugar-free marmalade or jam of your choice

enough water to make a firmish mix

Mix everything together, slowly - try not to spill too much flour on the bench, try not to eat too much dough. Have fun. Don't worry if quantities are a little bit wrong. You can add some dried spice or other dried fruit if you want. Or use fresh fruit juice, or milk if you want instead of water.

Roll out flat, and cut with cookie cutters or roll into balls and push flatish (once they are on pan) with your finger - this makes a nice little shape.

Cook on a lined cookie tray at 180C (approx) for about 25 or so minutes, or until nice and golden. Leave them to cool on a wire rack before you eat them.

Then do a little dance for your Mama, to show her how much you like the cookies - and how happy you are, in general. She's been calling me "marmee.... muuuummie".

I also have some yummy pie recipes to share with you. We've had quite a baking week this past week. Cheesy pastry recipe to come in a few days, or so.

night time

Continuing on with the 'fuzzily' theme, here are a few not very focused photos. But I like them anyway. Life doesn't always have to be sharp and clear and crisp to make sense, or be correct. Does it?

Tonight is the second in a row that Mishi has gone to bed with not 'mummy milk'. This is a big breakthrough for such a milky-girl. I have been trying to slowly ease her over the past couple of weeks, with mixed results. But progressive results, at least.

Last night, on a whim, I suggested that maybe Mishi might like to have a special bottle of milk for bed. Sam went and made her a bottle, and she happily followed him into the kitchen. She carried her bottle around, almost proudly. And suckled it easily, contentedly in bed while I sang songs to the kids, and cuddled Mishi to sleep.

It did take a little while, but not so long as it could have. She fussed a bit, mainly about being comfortable how she was lying rather than wanting my milk. Eventually she slept. Waking 45 minutes later, I settled her with more cuddles.

So, night one - no milk! (She did have milk in the morning, at about 4.30am. But I'm okay with that. We're already happily lying beside each other, and it keeps her sleeping a bit longer in the morning. After all, I don't think that I'm entirely ready to be weaned from her!).

So, for bed tonight Sam made her bottle, which she took off to bed (after reading my favourite - "Emily's Balloon"). Much more fussing than last night, and hitting me in the face. And trying to pull up my shirt. "mik. mik. mik". But I cuddled her, and let her hit me. Whenever I tried to sing she hit in the mouth, informing me no singing. Yet finally she settled, mainly by herself - not letting me touch her. And little whimpers, then soft breathing. Then sleep.

So far she hasn't woken up since finally falling asleep at 7.45pm. That's almost two hours. I'm sure writing this will be a jinx - that's okay.

I think that maybe Mishi is ready for this weaning thing. Maybe she'll be okay. And I can go out at night time for a cup of tea with my friend. And not be called home for a screeching baby. Maybe I can have my body back to myself - once the milk eases and dries up (sure there will be a little while of soreness first!).

Now, am I ready for the weaning? I can't ask my mum about when we were weaned, or how. My dad doesn't remember. I always thought that I would feed my children until they simply stopped. But life isn't happening that way, and I have to learn to change my expectations of my mothering. And still be happy with that. I have to believe when I tell myself that I have given Mishi so much feeding her this long, and that it's only taking from both her and me if I continue feeding more when I'm so not wanting to.

With Ari I stopped him because I was five months pregnant with Mishi. Ari was 23 months old. He had started biting me. He was down to only 2-3 feeds a day anyway. I remember it as being quite easy. One day when he bit me I simply said no, and that was it. He asked a couple of times over the next few days, yet didn't push or whinge or cry. So. Let's hope both Mishi and I can wean that easily, happily and healthily.

My thoughts of the word weaning are not negative. Instead of taking something away from my daughter, I feel that I am opening her up to more. And myself in the process. Dr Sears says that the Hebrew word for weaning is 'gamal' which means to ripen. I really like that thought and perspective on a natural and necessary aspect of mothering and breastfeeding. What are your thoughts, ideas, experience? Please, I love having advice from other women.

fuzzily

My house is in a fuzzy sort of mess.

My life seems out of balance, and well fuzzy too.

My finances aren't at all in the happy or healthy zones.

My mind most definitely is fuzzy, and out of balance and while there are some happy moments in my head there have been some quite unhappy and not so healthy aspects. So many things going on.

Yet despite all this my little ones still have the power to stop me, and make me laugh, or read them a story, or push them on the swing - or fly on the swing with them. They give the happiness and remind me to soak up the Winter sun, to look at the flowers - "the fairies danced so that the flowers could open".

So, with head too fuzzily muddled to write what I might want - I've decided to try and just keep my posts simple, with some photos and maybe a few words. And try and post more often than once or twice a week (I've tried that a few times before, haven't I).

And one friendship in particular, that continues to strengthen. That, too, is giving me motivation and ability to enjoy the small moments of peace and listening and being listened to, and of just being. And not having to be anything particular - just myself.

Sam and I are thinking and planning and working madly on our new business venture. I'll tell you about it soon, when I feel we really have something proper to show you. oooohhhh the anticipation is killing you, hey!!

Also - I wanted to say hi to my family and friends who read this little part of me, and don't often comment. Please do comment, just to let me know you're there. :: Hi Lea, Tal + Suri - lovely to hear from you

family day out

A day out at the bayside*.

With Grandma and Granddad (Sam's mum and dad).

Playing in the sand.

And the climbing ropes.

Eating icecream.

Talking.

Looking. Exploring. Laughing.

Enjoying the sun and the coolish breeze from the water.

*Wynnum. Which is not the beach, where you can swim. But mudflats at low tide; with a made beach area. The closest that Brisbane has to the bayside, without going up or down the coast to proper beaches. (And, if you happen to ever visit - some of the best beaches in Australia).

changes

You may have noticed that there've been a few changes around this blog, here. Maybe because I still haven't moved (changed) houses - so this is my little virtual house. Maybe because it's so much easier to spend time sitting on my b.t.m (hey, Stef, remember "Under Milkwood"??). Maybe because I'm really enjoying teaching myself, and reading tutorials on how to change the html myself.

I don't even know what html stands for, what it all means. I'm good at learning and teaching myself, I really enjoy it. But it's all slow. And I don't know what a lot of things are for. I only just realised why people don't put their full email address on their blogs, but write it like this: ellieabeck (at) hotmail (dot) com. For those few of you others who didn't know, it's so that the computer spiders can't spam you.

And all that technorati stuff. Truly I don't know what it's about. Okay, I understand that it's a ranking system. And if you're more popular well then technorati tells you. If you're not so popular then you can read your exact number of people who like you. I'm quite used to being not so popular. I grew up being a bit of the odd-one-out within the school community. I hung out with the other odd-ones-out. Honestly, I keep saying that I'd prefer only a small handful of real friends, compared to a bucketful of acquaintances. Hmmmm. maybe sometimes I'd like a few more people to chat to. To feel a bit more popular. Arhhh well. Guess it's quite lucky that I have a good connection with my family - wish a few more of them would comment on my blog! (Thanks Timbo).

Anyway. The new pictures on the right sidebar link back to other places. Check them out, if you feel inclined. I'm going to add more as I get more time - oh, and maybe more things to actually add. And that label cloud. Isn't it the coolest. I found this tutorial and then found this colour chart to change the colours - that took me a while to work out. And this is the tutorial I used ages ago, to make a three column blog; which I may go back to at some stage.

There are lots of changes happening at home too. Not the house moving stuff. But new job stuff. I was fired a few weeks ago (via email!) from my part-time job. Sam will be finishing up at his job in a couple of weeks. Instead of going out and looking for new jobs, we are both jumping head first into wanting to start our own business together. This is something that we have talked about together for so many years; now we finally have no other reasons to not do it.

We are heading towards a market in just under one month, as being our main starting leap. So, lots of talk and work ahead of us. Lots of plans and ideas and work work work. But our minds keep ticking and tumbling, we are thinking similar things as each other. Some similar images and pictures we tell each other about. It's really wonderful, yet totally scary, to be at this point of change. Of new things happening for our family, for our daily lives.

So, you may see me around here lots over the next month, sharing our progress. Or not at all, due to having so much to do and think. And fit it all around the kids' schedule.

These few photos are of me, when I went out last weekend with some girlfriends. I took them in my mirror, with the flash - so not so good. Wearing one of my Maiocchi dresses (from last season), that isn't so breastfeeding friendly. (Don't you just love my expressions!!). The kids and Sam went to his parent's house. I went out for dinner with Sylve, and two long-time friends, one who lives in Germany. We had cocktails and sat with our dinner chatting for ages, and chatted more before dessert, then shared our delicious icecream. And lots of stories and laughs and wonderful times. Small time to be together, but such a special time. Thanks Sylve, Rejelle and Francious.

(peg) friends

Last weekend, Ari sat down at my desk and made some little friends. Mishi was asleep. I sat and folded washing, and finally had an empty washing basket to start the next load with.

It was really lovely sitting on the floor, with Ari beside me creating little people. I spread everything out for him, with some glue and let him make them anyway he liked. Fluffy hair, clothes wrapped and stuck any which way. Lots of character, these ones! I must admit that I helped him with some, I wanted to, as much as him needing me to. See that one with the very stylish coloured hair do - it's a whole heap of ends of threads from my sewing that I twisted into a bun sort of shape and stuck to her head.

We gave these ones to Grandma, as we already have quite a few little friends at home.

Along with these little flowers that I cut from some scrap fabric, and we glued onto coloured sticks, with red bead middles.

Some I made a long time ago, and these three came home from Momo's house a few weeks ago. Please check out her collection. They are going to market soon, and I had to buy some off her before everyone else saw them.

Our little friends are a bit messier than Momo's, but in general, I'm a bit (well, a lot actually) messier than Momo. I wear lots of colour and prints and so do my kids. Momo wears lots of simple and monotone, with minimal prints and her son normally is quite similar.

Very different styles - yet somehow we still have lots in common. And can spend a lot of special time talking and planning and creating and playing, and also just being and not having to talk - that to me, really is one of the most important aspects of friendship; being able to sit quietly together.

We had a little craft night at Sylve's house a few weeks ago, and Momo brought a basket to make more peg people. She made one for Ashey - the only kid who was there, he was wide awake - at his request. And Sylve crocheted him a little sleeping bag for the tiny person. He took it to show and share at school, where they loved it. Maybe Momo and I should organise a school crafternoon.

My two little ones are wonderful friends at the moment. They are playing games together so well. Ari seems to have reached a new level of sharing and Mishi a new level of interaction. They play shops, and take it in turns to be the shopkeeper - buying books or necklaces, setting up a little counter and a scanner and carry bags. You should see the set-up at Grandma's house, where they play shops every single visit.

Today, while I was making more sticky sultana + apple buns, and casserole for dinner, the kids set up a rocket ship in the kitchen, with all the chairs, and played make believe games happily for such a long, wonderful time. Mishi copies so much of what Ari is doing, yet she doesn't do anything she doesn't want to! It's so lovely hearing them talk together, telling stories and making up games. Running alongside, sharing, be loving and kind. Sometimes they both chatter on the old (no longer working) mobile phones; "uh huh. hmmmmm. yep yep. mmmmmm", with stern looks on their faces, flapping you away if you talk or make any noise as they are "on the phone".

I have lots more posts written in my head, they just don't seem to be making it out through my fingers and onto the computer and into blogland. Soon. Unless I forget them all......